Obey or suffer? No thanks..

Feeling drained. So many psi-vamps around.

Dad came home yesterday evening and as soon as I entered the room he was in, I felt uncomfortable and drained .. suddenly couldn't hold my eyes open any longer.

Even though I already felt drained today morning, the same thing continued. As soon as I became to a proximity of 20 m to father, I would suddenly grow really tired. When he left the room, I would gradually feel more and more fresh again.
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In a half-dream state yesterday evening, I explored different kinds of gold (symbol for spiritual values).

There seemed to be many, but 3 of them looked most important:

1. Dark gold - gold with a slightly dark reflection. Like gold with a bronze-like reflection. This one would become oxidized (would eventually become dull). Most of the gold that I saw around was like this .. not real gold.
2. Gold - pure and shiny. Some of the temples and stairways were elaborated with this.
3. White gold - like a fine powder of gold. This one didn't shine or in any way look special, but seemed superior to the others. On the stairways, the rails were covered with white gold.

Anyway, had some more dreams where I had to "suffer the consequences" of barking against the powers that were in some of the earlier dreams.

Had to play wounded. Someone projected a wound on my left shoulder. It was artificial, so I didn't even feel it. They then wrapped it in. Having wasted too much time and effort on playing with me, they rushed to an event. Participating in the event was compulsory for me too. Feeling apathetic, I just took my time and walked there. On my way there, I was scolded for bleeding on the floor. When I got there, I was scolded for being late. However, none of this "old school building with everything shaded in gloom" was my design anyway. It was not my dream and I had known it all the time.

It seems SeriousKnot was right. I wonder if I was right too .. because if that's the case, then one can prison-break pretty elegantly. Interesting, in this context, "liberation" and "enlightenment" would have a pretty well-defined meaning.

Though, I found it quite interesting that there were specific times, when their community would have to gather outside of the buildings. There was some sort of a meeting or something, which they had to participate or they would be punished. Probably a dictatorship system, where they would receive their daily orders this way.

Didn't see the event. Dream ended before. Woke up pretty tired in the morning.
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Meditated and slept for a lot of times today. Feeling pretty lonely .. there's something that was within reach, but can't reach it anymore. Have to regain energy.

Blob of thick psi

Ah, remembered one more thing .. or two.

While crossing the pedestrian bridge today evening, I started to feel the surroundings a bit differently. Noticed that around one of the street lamps, there was a really dense psi field. So dense that it made me feel like one could easily float there, right next to the bridge. This was pretty vivid.

Recently I've started to experience the sensation of no ground below the feet, while crossing the bridge. I feel the air under the feet and bridge surface. Quite surreal and yet more real than the feeling of air touching against the skin.

Whaz subcon?

Yesterday, a guy in charge of the management of these apartment blocks came to give electronic keys. He was pretty nervous .. many of the residents had not been at home.

::click:: corridor lamp turned off. He went to turn it back on. Nothing happened. He tried again, 3 or 4 times, even. Still nothing.

I was about to comment: "Weird. I wonder if it burned out..?"

He said: "Most likely it will work when I calm down." Touched the switch and the lamp was shining once more.

Felt amazingly full of energy yesterday. There was energy rushing through the whole body.
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Had an interesting dream. I guess we were cleaning up at summerhouse and sister was cooking.

A lot of precognition, hints from the subconscious and some pk practice.

Aunt asked me to take some sort of a glass object down from a shelf. She told me to be careful with it. Subconscious told me I was not in proper control of my emotions to do that. Put some more effort into controlling the emotions and tried to be extra careful.

This was denial of subconscious or whatever there was, suggesting things.

Had the object in my hands, about to give it to aunt. Then, suddenly the object became paranormally heavy. Too heavy for me to lift it, even too heavy to lift with the help of pk. So it fell to the floor, throwing a shard off its structure. Tried to lift it up from the floor .. it was really light, even about 100 times lighter than when I took it from the shelf.

Aunt cast all her anger on me with pleasure. Didn't let it resonate with me, because that would've been an easy way for them to acquire energy from me.

Instead, I started to wonder. Here's how it all felt: someone is ordering me around, considering themselves superior. Then, as I disobey, they feel humiliated and have to show me that it is they, who hold all the power. This glass object becoming so heavy .. it felt like it was done by the same being who had been acting as subconscious mind in that dream.

Thus, the question: What is it that I'm calling subconscious? Is it not some sort of an entity, attached to the spirit?
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Amazingly beautiful morning with a nice warm wind, followed by an amazingly warm day.

Parallel experiences

I think I know what I messed up with.

Wet socks + cold floor is a misuse of the peripheral interface. There are straight channels to many of the organs from the bottom of the feet and the palms as well. Touch a cold boulder with your hand and you'll feel the effect on internal organs.

It seems that everything up to the heart and liver were affected by cold.

Attempted to re-fresh or re-generate parts of the body in order to heal this.

Consciousness shifts are still there.

Sometimes I find it strange, how some objects behave. Took the headphones from the table .. saw a ball-point pen core fall to the floor. Even heard something fall to the ground. "Awf .. no, you're not gonna fall down." And there it is .. on the table, right where it was before I reached for the headphones. At some moment, it looked as if there were two ball-point pen cores, one of which fell to the floor, leaving the other one on the table. Though, based on the memory, rational mind proves there was only one to begin with.

This is similar to this post:
http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2012/04/workaholicism.html (lost an MP3 player ear bud 3x in a row)

And to this one, in an un-posted way:
http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2012/10/sick.html (a man crossing the street real drunk)

I've been replaying this one from memory and there seems to be a gap in the experience.

When the man leaned onto the road, he was about to fall directly under the wheels of the first car making a right turn. The next moment, the car hit the brakes on the second lane.

This could've very well been my imagination, though.

Stomach ache

Incredibly clear messages from the subconscious. All of them were predictive and correct.

Subconscious predicted a last-minute conference call.

While coming home, it told me the balcony was finally open (had been sealed off with plastic for a couple of months, I guess). It even asked me whether I would like to take a look at it from the other side .. decided that wouldn't be necessary, trust subconscious enough.

Front door was closed. According to the subconscious, the old password wouldn't work. Though, it still suggested me to try it. On the sound of Error, a construction worker opened the door from the inside and told me the temporary password.

A sudden and strong stomach ache in the evening. There's either a blockage dissolving or I've messed it up pretty bad. Would prefer the first one, definitely. The flow of psi is greatly disturbed by the stomach, causing mild shifts in consciousness. Made some wormwood tea .. bwaah too strong.

Bright dreams

In a dream two nights ago, the 3 of us came from moving the shop and stopped by at an asian restaurant. Had infinite hunger. Wondered about it in the dream, especially because it was a dream. This continued in the waking state .. infinite feeling of hunger, just that the stomach would become full. So much for my breatharian practice, this time. There shall be more waves.

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One of the colleagues had been ill for several weeks already .. with a headache.

Attempted to remote-heal him via visualization, yesterday evening. Hadn't seen anything like this .. his brain looked so different. Undid a part of the visualization, because at some point I realized it was beyond my abilities. Shouldn't touch what I can't comprehend. Just applied soft and warm psi with the intent of healing and making him feel better.

Today morning he came to work.

Thinking back on it, makes me feel uneasy. I wish him to be well and still, there's this feeling that I'm not pure enough .. some black thoughts coming to mind, me trying to shield them off in fear.

Went to a practical, with this fight going on in the mind. At some moment it struck me: "What if it's an entity toying with me." So far I had always thought the mind was going bonkers of paranoia. Black thoughts disappeared.

An idea of what may have happened. I perform healing / pk. With this, there comes a feeling of power, balanced by a fear of doing it wrong and causing harm. Then some sort of an entity is attracted to this fear .. that's because with this fear, they obtain control over me and thus the powers as well. Now, assuming that I had been healing someone, they would come and play that someone, trying to depict me hurting them.

Today, this entity would have me feel their head under my right foot. This would make me feel upset, seeing myself acting superior to the colleague whom I greatly respect.
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Went to meditate and sleep early yesterday evening.

Had a really interesting series of dreams. None of them looked like my own, due to a completely different viewpoint on the world as well as a foreign scenery (with minor similarities). Anyway, the body that I was in, it had memories tied with that place.

We were in a room (a bit similar to the parents' room, or now father's room), talking with a friend. I really enjoyed the view out of the balcony window. Sun was rising and wind picking up. The buildings looked all orange (much like this building in near future).

On top of a building to the right, there was an antenna (and perhaps some measurement devices), attached to a big metal sphere that looked like a sea mine. Thought it was odd, but perhaps served the purpose of being heavy and protecting the equipment. With the wind picking up, it started to wobble ..

::plop:: it fell off the edge of the building, as if it was completely weightless. Rushed to the edge of the balcony, hoping that there was nobody underneath. Couldn't see it anywhere .. it had just disappeared.

Jumped off the balcony and landed on the roof of another building. Saw pieces of sewer pipes flying around, totally weightless. Had some fun levitating them towards myself or away.

Jumped off the roof of that building. Started looking around for other people in this dream. No-one seemed to notice me, except for one older lady. For the whole time, she had been staring at me. Was the dream hers?

There was another one. We were about to go somewhere with Mom. Both of us had cameras with us. Wanted to take a photo of something. Took it with my camera .. no difference. Took it with Mom's and everything changed .. as if had started to see everything from her perspective. Memories, way of seeing things, the feel of the surroundings, all changed.

Another dream, with a similar feeling to everything. Just in a bit more familiar part of the town. We were cleaning the streets of litter and found some interesting things. Still, the atmosphere was lovely .. sun rising, all those yellow leaves, wet asphalt glittering in the sun.
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Happened to look at the curtain in the kitchen while eating breakfast. It felt amazingly responsive .. as if wind was pushing it according to the intention. The thing is, these are new windows now, without any sort of ventilation built in. Of course, the mind has not become used to it yet.

Went to work in the morning. Sun rose, it was pretty windy .. yellow leaves flying about.

Inspiring videos

Ah, just finished writing a nice post for a forum. It took slightly more than an hour to polish. Then accidentally clicked close. No way I'm writing that again. Perhaps it was the wrong time to post it, don't know. Well, hopefully they'll get the idea anyway.

One and a half days of moving a shop to a storage house. It was tiring, but sort of fun.

Sister said: "Need some water." Had been thinking of that for a while too, said "Yeah," leaning on a cardboard box. Happened to glance into it .. all sorts of wrappers and stuff to be thrown away .. and a bottle of water (with a piece of chewing gum stuck to it), half-full. Handy.

A couple of days ago, father had found some really inspiring videos. While searching for them, we found some more.