Diet experiments

Food summary from yesterday:

• Cake for lunch.
• Two apples.
• Two kiwis.
• A carrot.
• Two tomatoes + pan salt.
• A piece of cucumber + pan salt with herbs.
• Juice with no added sugar, colouring agents or preservatives.

All in all, pretty acidic.

Didn't sleep too well last night. Didn't feel that tired. Played around with some sort of a cloud of energy within the body. Moved it around from body part to body part. The cloud was white with a faint tint of blue and gold. The cloud was warm and it was viscous.

Although better, the digestive system had still procrastinated during the day. So, in bed it started rushing with it. Perhaps that issue is not caused by food but simply a lack of physical exercise. But then again, I probably wouldn't think of trying a raw food diet if I would be physically more active.

Since today morning, the left side of my neck is stiff. There are two potential reasons: neck was exposed to cold wind yesterday and / or body lacks fat.

With raw food, I've noticed that I pee more often. Previously I used to eat very dry food, barely drinking anything.
 Food summary for today:

• Two apples.
• One kiwi.
• Salad:
• Two tomatoes
• Cucumber
• Parsley
• Brown Himalayan salt (contains a lot of sulphur)
• Pan salt
• Black pepper
• A carrot.
• Three champignons.
• A banana.

Apple and kiwi tasted a lot more sweet today morning. The salad also tasted amazingly good.

Still feeling dull and clumsy. A slight stress has built up due to feeling dull for so long. It's the fear of not being able to completely fulfil my responsibilities. I feel that this sensation of dullness and clumsiness is fake or hollow. I know it is possible to overcome it, though, I'm currently not all too confident in taking the step (more like a leap).

Thinking straight doesn't seem to be a problem anymore. Managed to solve a medium complexity problem in a quite elegant way today. It took some effort at first, but the effect seemed to have been long-lasting.

Tomorrow I may try sprats to see if it's fat that I'm missing. Black bread would be nice, too. I've also been attracted by peanut butter (100% roasted peanuts).

Raw food?

Watched this one yesterday:

Suddenly saw my eating habits from another angle. What is more, I realized the meaning of the dreams from the previous post.

Basically, I've been eating anything and whenever that anything causes issues with energy flow, I've tried to work around it with willpower and concentration. Also, when there's been food that doesn't taste right, I've tuned my sense of taste so that I could clean the plate without effort.

Since so far I've been on an "everything" diet, I thought I might try a raw food diet as well, for comparison. This way I could perhaps more easily determine the effect of eating habits on energy flow and spiritual development.

Similar to how some people die from radiation or toxines, I think a full prolonged diet of raw food may also be deadly for some people (malnutrition, lack of fat, etc.). Let's see what I'll feel during / after a raw food diet for couple of days. Not sure I would be able to psychically auto-generate all the lacking nutrients yet. So, if I feel the body needs meat, dairy or fish .. it's all ready in the fridge.

Well, there was a media event with a lot of cake for lunch. Shopped for some fruits, vegetables on my way home.

I guess it's about 7 hours on the raw food diet. So far I've noticed the following:

• Having difficulties thinking straight.
• Too much saliva is being produced.
• Feeling slightly tired.
• The digestive system seems to be working better.
• Pretty much no tension or stress anywhere in the body.
• Bodily odour has reduced remarkably.
• Energy movement is more active. Have experienced several jolts of consciousness, as well as near-OBE while awake (leaning out of body).
• Something seems to be dissolving at the pineal gland and at the area where I have a back problem.

Fear of semi-subconscious visualzations

The bonfire night was very good. Continued to discuss stuff with father back at home. The main point of the discussion was about some fears that I've been having.

When I hear someone talking about something, I know I'm semi-subconsciously creating a construct / visualization of what they are talking about. However, when people are talking about a virus for example, then I'm afraid of creating the construct .. because it will be dangerous, right? Anyway, so far I have usually destroyed the construct before it has even taken its form. So many stray thoughts have materialized that I try to avoid giving birth to destructive stray thoughts.

With this kind of approach, I wouldn't learn the nature of the virus (the only way would be getting infected with it) .. so it's not healthier or safer to flee from what I could learn from it. Instead, I should study the construct for as long as I need, while observing the weaknesses or placing loopholes into the design, to easily destroy the construct afterwards.

At some moment we realized it was around 3.15 AM already.

Jahara on Mark Mauvais' forum shared a link to a breatharian forum (people who live without eating or drinking): http://forum.breatharian.info/

In one of my dreams, I found a web-page that defined breatharianism and mentioned that one of the prerequisites is the ability to control the thickness and fluidity of psi .. and blood, too. I know I have been having issues with this, because I eat a lot and usually don't drink much.

In the dream, I wondered how one would control it. Found myself in the kitchen, chatting with father again. Noticed a weird reflection of the clock in front of me. Somehow the clock reflection was projected through me so that I saw it in front of me and the effect was dependent on where I was positioned. Anyway, as I looked at the reflection, it transformed into a circular symbol of some sort. Started looking for my camera to take a photo so that I could look up all the details later. Couldn't.

The next moment we're living in an ice castle that's sticking out from a cliff. It's melting because there's water from the top of the cliff coming down a wall. The castle was going to collapse soon if I didn't fix it somehow. I tried to get rid of the water somehow, which made matters even worse and collapsed the whole thing. ":undo" and tried again. Had the "brilliant" idea of putting cement into the water.

Woke up to "facepalm" a few times. Went back to sleep.

Another dream. Woke up at the summerhouse. The place was similar but not exactly the same. The ceiling was way too low for me. While crawling out of the bed, my head pressed strong against the wooden ceiling. Complained. Aunt told "perhaps hitting your head against the ceiling hard enough would help." Me: "Yeah right.." Observed a conflict between two of the kids at the summerhouse.

Water on flames

Went to bed at 0:00 AM. Woke at 4 AM, due to the feet being too energized. Had spent the 4 hours in a half-sleep state without dreams. Took a meditation pose and focused the energy up the spine, into the head. Mind became a lot clearer, yawned a lot and went back to bed. With the energy up in the higher chakras, I started feeling hunger (barely ate anything at all yesterday).

Before the milk-fetching alarm at 8 AM, I had 2 dreams.

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Dream 1:

There was a strange boiler with mysterious pipework that supplied the bathroom, toilet and sauna with water. It was ancient, it leaked water and looked slightly spooky for some reason. Spent time fixing it so that I could take sauna. Sister wanted to make a bonfire. She piled up wood in the front yard and started spraying water on it with a garden hose. Water burst into flames around the logs. There were 2 other people around the bonfire, who thought that she had piled up too much firewood and that the flames were too great (dangerous, even). I just observed it, somewhat disagreed with the 2 other guys but had nothing against removing a few logs. Sister did so. She took a few glowing logs and piled them behind the corner of the sauna building.

The dream must have been for me to observe without interaction. Because when I decided to take the logs for the boiler that sister had removed from the bonfire, the dream became unstable. The boiler started changing its shape, losing important components and so on.

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Dream 2:

There was some sort of a competition. During a break, we were treated for a feast at a fancy restaurant. I had something to do and arrived a bit late. Chose a table at the back. When I was about to sit down, the two other people at the table suggested me not to sit there, because the table was missing one leg. Chose another seat, which would keep the table in balance. But I couldn't drag the chair from underneath the table because a bed was in the way. Couldn't move the bed enough because it was at the wall already. Asked the waiter for advice. Well, then the competition resumed.

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Enjoyed a jog and a short meditation with Kaspar. He played with the wind .. a strong gust of wind from the left, then from the right. Told him that I've seen several dreams where he has taught me levitation.

He told me about an attempt to move fire some time ago. He had been sitting at the bonfire when his mother put more wood into the fire. It became too hot for Kaspar to sit there. So he focused on pushing the fire away from him. Eventually, the flames were reduced. The bonfire was no longer burning. However, his parents noticed a round spot of grass burning, quite a distance from the bonfire. Puzzled, they quickly took a bucket of water and extinguished it.

Kaspar also told how he had been practising phasing. He wanted to glue two small pieces of wood together but they didn't stick together. He became anxious and just pushed the two pieces of wood together .. they phased into each-other of about 5 mm.

So awesome =D

To Aracena

Yesterday I visualized the conversion of bee poison into something harmless. Today the left hand was no longer bloated.

Yesterday I skipped breakfast and ate lunch late. Didn't feel hunger .. metabolism had become very slow. Had a wet dream today morning, which sped up the metabolism again.

Visited the caves in Aracena. The caves left me speechless. Imagined how much more awesome the experience would be if I were able to levitate around in there (could look at the various formations, lakes from all around). In the museum, I stared at the various minerals for hours.

Went to a castle at the top of the mountain, where Mom showed me the location where she likes to meditate.

There was a girl with a crown of flowers on her head. I thought (just a feeling, not a fully formed thought) it looked pretty. Luis said the same thing to his friend in spanish. His friend told the girl that I had said it (miscommunication?). Ah well..

Also, when we entered the village, we heard a church bell ringing. I didn't recognize the bell at first, because it sounded as if someone was hitting a frying pan with a wooden stick. When I saw a man ringing the church bell, I said that I would've expected a better sound from the church bell - that it sounded similar to hitting a pan or a pot. Mom and Luis had thought exactly the same thing - they also hadn't heard the church bell ringing in such a way before.

In Aracena, I slept in the living-room. There was an Om symbol on the door, 1/3 of the room was converted into a meditation place with statues and candles. Above my bed there was a lamp globe, which caught my attention. Somehow, it felt dark, induced mild fear and yet it felt so familiar. Practised trataka on it for some time. By the looks, it reminded me of a rocket engine nozzle or something. No idea why it made me feel that way. Asked Luis Carlos about the globe. He said it was from India and about as old as I was. He wanted to replace it with a new one from Kenya, so he gave it to me.

More performance, less battery life

Stumbled on the problem of food not being digested again. Living without eating is not for me yet. So, I tweaked the metabolism a little. Food should now be converted into psi more rapidly. Body clock frequency increased (at the expense of a shorter life cycle?). Food digests pretty fast now. Also, recently I've been digging sweets .. with a lot of sugar content.

Recently I've also been trying to reincorporate some concentration exercises into the daily life. Some good exercises from here:
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/08/08/12-concentration-exercises-from-1918/

Yesterday evening, a neighbour ringed the bell and asked if he could use the internet. Offered my laptop. Nothing to do for hours .. er .. *grabs the dream and sleep yoga book from the bookshelf and starts reading it from the end towards the beginning*. Found a lot of interesting ideas and inspiring exercises again.

Recognized some of the surrounding psi field. There is some progress.

Dream conspiracy

Twice today morning I noticed that I could see the wallpaper with my eyes closed.

Today morning I experienced a fail of celibacy again. A pretty clever dream. I had a birthday. Tables covered in delicious food. Went to bed after that. In the morning, a couple of imposters (disguised as grandparents) started injecting false memories. Even though I managed to prove the memories absurd, I still became confused and started analyzing them. Some uncensored content was packed into these memories.

About a week or two ago, I suddenly realized that all food tastes really good. Potatoes, carrots, meat, milk .. all of these suddenly tasted really sweet. I can't eat chocolate anymore, one little piece of chocolate overflows the taste of sweetness. It seems I also can't eat raw onions anymore .. a few pieces made my head feel as if all sound rumbled inside the skull. I have to admit, I've become addicted to eating. Probably: focusing on enjoying the taste of the food does not improve digestion. It makes the taste of food more enjoyable.

Moreover, food didn't digest. I could just eat lunch and not be able to sleep at night because of the stomach being full. On the other hand, if I didn't eat, eye sight would reduce slightly, blood circulation would slow down and so on..

There's supposed to be 2 polarities of psi, right? Usually when this happens, I feel as if one of the polarities was dominating so that I could no longer feel the other one. I wonder how I could increase the intensity of both polarities simultaneously.

Looked at the clock, it was about 7 PM. I was starting to feel hunger, but thought that if I ate then, I wouldn't be able to sleep again. So, went for a jog before eating. Hopefully it'll digest faster now.

I'm not sure if the mind-trick experiment of radiating more heat actually works or not. Haven't been able to always reproduce the sensation. When I have, it seems to have worked sometimes.

Happy lunch

Forgot to mention a dream in the previous post. It was a warm and sunny day and there was a group of us at the seaside not far from our farmhouse. We had gone there to simply enjoy the weather and the sea. After being there for some time, and having discussed a lot of cool subjects, I noticed a thunder cloud in the distance. The more I looked at it, the closer it became. It was a strange cloud, because the lightning was continuous - no separable strikes but always hitting the sea while moving around. Eventually noticed how the forks of lightning affected the water - it sort of splashed it around, almost as if repelling water. Showed it to other people, we packed our stuff and left the seaside. A very calm, cool and yet powerful dream.

Last night I found myself in an unstable reality-like environment. I was in my room, as were a couple of other people. Not sure what they were doing, but I decided to take a small plastic bag, place it on a nail on the wall and levitate it around the room.

Something amazing happened today. I ate a full lunch, after which, I suddenly realized just how happy I am. What an euphoric feeling. Probably due to the tooth problems, I hadn't eaten properly for days. It's cool how something this small can bring so much happiness.

Not hungry..

Haven't been feeling too hungry recently.

Yesterday I ate a little bread, cheese and drank water. Cookies made me feel sick in the stomach.

Today I ate lunch at school (potatoes, fish steaks, cheese cake). Right after that, I started feeling uncomfortable in the stomach area. Observed the discomfort poisoning the mind.

Felt pretty floaty while walking around the room, practising for an upcoming presentation.

Tired? More effort!?

Practised some pranayama last night. Slept longer today morning. There was at least one OBE, but it didn't last very long.

Felt rather tired in the morning again. Had to put more effort into meditating on the crown, in order to overcome this and to be able to continue with the satellite operations.

Something was different today. Felt uncomfortable, especially when father walked into the room - he tends to cause an uneasiness of the energy in the stomach area. Focused on the crown for a while longer, with some more effort next time. Waves of hot and cold energy started propagating up the body. For about 20 minutes, stuff pulsed up the body, rocking the crown.

Also, found that empathy takes remarkably more effort than it did yesterday.

After that, felt a bit better, but still uncomfortable. When I went down into the basement, to help sister and dad out with cleaning (till the next pass), I realized just how tired I was. Noticed, how the farther I went from my floor, the more tired I felt.

After a week of this chaotic sleeping (going to bed at 2 or 3 AM, waking up at 6 AM, sleeping an hour during the day) and work from 9 AM to 2 AM without weekends, I guess I feel tired.

Around 11 PM I realized that I hadn't eaten anything since besides a couple of sandwiches and a glass of kefir for breakfast. Hadn't eaten much the previous day, either. *shrug* another glass of kefir. Found a jar of 20 years old pickles in the basement. Ate 2, drank some of that water .. really good.

Bright dreams

In a dream two nights ago, the 3 of us came from moving the shop and stopped by at an asian restaurant. Had infinite hunger. Wondered about it in the dream, especially because it was a dream. This continued in the waking state .. infinite feeling of hunger, just that the stomach would become full. So much for my breatharian practice, this time. There shall be more waves.

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One of the colleagues had been ill for several weeks already .. with a headache.

Attempted to remote-heal him via visualization, yesterday evening. Hadn't seen anything like this .. his brain looked so different. Undid a part of the visualization, because at some point I realized it was beyond my abilities. Shouldn't touch what I can't comprehend. Just applied soft and warm psi with the intent of healing and making him feel better.

Today morning he came to work.

Thinking back on it, makes me feel uneasy. I wish him to be well and still, there's this feeling that I'm not pure enough .. some black thoughts coming to mind, me trying to shield them off in fear.

Went to a practical, with this fight going on in the mind. At some moment it struck me: "What if it's an entity toying with me." So far I had always thought the mind was going bonkers of paranoia. Black thoughts disappeared.

An idea of what may have happened. I perform healing / pk. With this, there comes a feeling of power, balanced by a fear of doing it wrong and causing harm. Then some sort of an entity is attracted to this fear .. that's because with this fear, they obtain control over me and thus the powers as well. Now, assuming that I had been healing someone, they would come and play that someone, trying to depict me hurting them.

Today, this entity would have me feel their head under my right foot. This would make me feel upset, seeing myself acting superior to the colleague whom I greatly respect.
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Went to meditate and sleep early yesterday evening.

Had a really interesting series of dreams. None of them looked like my own, due to a completely different viewpoint on the world as well as a foreign scenery (with minor similarities). Anyway, the body that I was in, it had memories tied with that place.

We were in a room (a bit similar to the parents' room, or now father's room), talking with a friend. I really enjoyed the view out of the balcony window. Sun was rising and wind picking up. The buildings looked all orange (much like this building in near future).

On top of a building to the right, there was an antenna (and perhaps some measurement devices), attached to a big metal sphere that looked like a sea mine. Thought it was odd, but perhaps served the purpose of being heavy and protecting the equipment. With the wind picking up, it started to wobble ..

::plop:: it fell off the edge of the building, as if it was completely weightless. Rushed to the edge of the balcony, hoping that there was nobody underneath. Couldn't see it anywhere .. it had just disappeared.

Jumped off the balcony and landed on the roof of another building. Saw pieces of sewer pipes flying around, totally weightless. Had some fun levitating them towards myself or away.

Jumped off the roof of that building. Started looking around for other people in this dream. No-one seemed to notice me, except for one older lady. For the whole time, she had been staring at me. Was the dream hers?

There was another one. We were about to go somewhere with Mom. Both of us had cameras with us. Wanted to take a photo of something. Took it with my camera .. no difference. Took it with Mom's and everything changed .. as if had started to see everything from her perspective. Memories, way of seeing things, the feel of the surroundings, all changed.

Another dream, with a similar feeling to everything. Just in a bit more familiar part of the town. We were cleaning the streets of litter and found some interesting things. Still, the atmosphere was lovely .. sun rising, all those yellow leaves, wet asphalt glittering in the sun.
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Happened to look at the curtain in the kitchen while eating breakfast. It felt amazingly responsive .. as if wind was pushing it according to the intention. The thing is, these are new windows now, without any sort of ventilation built in. Of course, the mind has not become used to it yet.

Went to work in the morning. Sun rose, it was pretty windy .. yellow leaves flying about.

Light up, central channel

Visualized dense psi clumping together in the central channel and light up, while walking to work today morning.

Felt rather down / apathetic again today, don't know why, but it's pretty frequent. I suspect it might be related to me being disappointed about this world. Though, I guess no matter what the world is, this disappointment would still haunt. There must be a more fundamental problem to cause this.

Subconscious mind suggested me to run across the street and take the bus. Ignored it and acted according to the rules. Missed the bus. Checked the times, went back across the street and missed another one. Both would've taken me home.

Bah, too apathetic to care about that extra hour of waiting. Found an ad paper loose, inside a glass container to my right. I was a bit amazed at how responsive it was, even though it was sealed shut and there shouldn't have been any air drafts inside. It was also fun to readjust the focus .. to feel the glass .. then go through it and feel the paper inside.

Decided to try rising the vibrations again and overcome the depression. Stuff changed, everything started to look different again. Also, felt the body emitting hot psi.

This practice highlighted a problem .. it seems the body caught cold yesterday. Head hurts. It wasn't cold, but perhaps a lack of energy due to skipping lunch and supper (okay, ate a sandwich) yesterday.
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Had a free energy dream last night. I was in a dark auditorium, somewhere. Sneakily performing experiments .. because they had the tech and it wasn't in use during the night anyway.

There were interesting incandescent bulbs scattered around. Slightly thicker than a needle, without any electrodes. Seemed to have been built for radiant energy indicators of sorts.

I guess I tried a lot of different things. Most of them didn't work. Though, within the last hour or 30 minutes, something did. Found a coil with an embedded capacitor, somehow managed to get it to resonate and fill the field with radiant energy and these tiny incandescent bulbs lit up.

Had to put stuff back hastily, people came in.

Warm dream

As a follow-up from yesterday's breatharian studies, there was an interesting dream.

Went to meet someone in Siberia. Strangely, though, it took place at our summerhouse. Still, it was pretty cold, windy and snowing. To that man, it was nothing. He was busy tweaking his car.

At first, I tucked myself in a lot of heavy clothes. Tried to warm myself up with pk. Practised energy cultivation in the garage there. It was difficult to keep the body warm. Moreover, the feet were uncomfortable in the boots and producing cold sweat .. which made it all even more cold.

At some point, I guess hot psi started emerging out of the body and I would no longer feel cold. With a bit of self-trust and courage, I took the boots off and left them to dry somewhere.

It had stopped snowing and it was really pleasurable to walk on the snow and ice barefooted. Walked to the old man to take a look at what he was doing. Brought him some sort of small tools. It was an old car that looked fresh and clean. He took one of the doors apart and showed me what he wanted to improve. He was a perfectionist. I was taken aback when I saw that the insides of the car were made of gold.

Edit: Car might symbolize a vessel or body. Gold probably symbolizes spiritual riches or attainment. Don't know what boots and being barefooted might represent.

Walked around the yard. Gradually the weather became warmer and more sunny. Then there was someone else surprised that I had left the boots to dry in the sun, walking around barefooted.
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Interesting. I had been worried about having to call the driving teacher after a few weeks. Called him and suddenly everything changed. A feeling of pleasure was poured on me. Felt as if life had suddenly gained a meaning again.

Slightly less than 12 hours without feeling hunger. Just a couple of cups of berry tea.
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Edit: Oh man, sometimes I burst out, being really pissed about the "correct" way of things in this world (makes me feel really sorry for anyone being born here). Why do I whine, when it's all really up to me to change it all?

Want to become breatharian

Had a strong urge to burn candles yesterday. Ignored it.

After 3 days of coding, didn't feel tired last night. Meditated a little and the feeling of warmth and love started radiating from the heart chakra. Strangely, felt cold air against the 3rd eye. Since I couldn't see the surroundings with it, so I thought it wasn't open.

Went to sleep 12 PM and woke up before 6 AM. Just stayed in bed, waiting for some dreams or OBE for the next 1.5 hours. Body no longer fell asleep.
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Felt a little frustrated about the body having to eat today. A colleague asked me to dinner, I replied: "I decided that eating is a waste of money. Perhaps I'll visit the store later, when I get hungry."

Usually when I get too hungry, I get really cold. Lack of energy..
 About 2 weeks ago, I just ate chips for breakfast and dinner. Well, it seemed okay for 1.5 weeks. Also, I've sometimes eaten cold food for months. Actually, some of it tastes better when it's cold.

Came back from the store, with a lot of junk food today and realized something.

In order to have energy for free, one first has to put in a critical amount of it. Then, this intense resonant blob of energy would slowly bring more and more of the surrounding energy into the resonance. So, it's the paradox that first one would need to have a lot of energy, then they can have more. Need to practice a lot more energy cultivation and meditate more, too.