Wow, it seems I've been running at a really low frequency. The splenic? chakra I guess opened up .. at an at least hundreds of times higher frequency than what I had thought to be its natural frequency. Today I've been focusing on the light, even though it's still very subtle.
Yesterday I went jogging, because I hadn't done so in months. Intended to jog to the place where I could do pull-ups (the respective muscles are still quite weak). I was amazed at what the body could do after just one month of gym. Instead of jogging, I ended up sprinting the whole way. Couldn't find the bars for pull-ups, though. There were two places in the woods where they were supposed to be, but in both places they had removed the bars. Improvised and managed to get quite a few muscles sore (slightly more so than what I've usually got at the gym). While jogging back, I found another place of power in the woods. A slightly elevated area with a pine tree that has the trunk split into three trees. It forms something like a chair. Compared to the rest of the place, this area felt really nice.
Relaxed a great deal last night, applied detachment too. While at it, there was some heavy snapping, crackling going on all around the apartment. Woke up with an occasional pain in the left side of the head (with all the swimming in the past days, water had gotten into the ear and it seems it has caught cold before I've managed to get the water out of there).
Today a colleague said he possibly has a brain tumor. Oh well .. not very surprising, though. As he's not into alternative stuff (yoga, meditation, alternative medicine), the least I can do is use his condition for inspiration in my own spiritual practices.
Actually I find it a bit strange, because he seems like the type who has quite a lot of experience in meditation, perhaps more than I do (awesome concentration skills) .. and yet he's not interested. There's one more guy in the team, who's as "skeptical". A very inspiring dude from high-school with a lot of experience in dreaming .. but thinks it's all the hallucinations caused by brain chemistry. Since both of them are very rational, it's very interesting to discuss these things with them - even though they're not interested, they are at least able to consider the possibility. Then again, I'm an engineer and perhaps a researcher in my own way, but I'm no preacher. I can not change another person against their own will. Also, I don't quite agree with what the sorcerers in Castaneda's books are doing (to me it seems that they're forcing their own will on others). Everyone is on their spiritual journey alone.
Monday, July 6, 2015
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Target practice
Last night in the dreams I was working on a school task of some sort. What was unusual though, a girl came, sat next to me and enjoyed my presence. She answered most of the questions I had on the paper. I was grateful. Soon she left. Slowly realized that at least most of her answers contained nothing useful.
A few nights ago I had a strange (unusual) dream. Workshop / seminar stuff .. then became bored, lucid and started playing parkour around the place. This eventually developed into flying around. Some entity to my right drew me to what looked like an FPS target practice at a park. I was a bit surprised that firearms did not work there. Obviously the idea was to charge at the target, flying as fast as I could. So I did. The target had several invisible shields around it. This method caused the outermost shield to crack and fall apart. The next attack took the next shield. The next target was summoned. Stuff did not seem right. Took its outermost shield and then I was stopped. One of the entities to my right (there were two, I think) had developed empathy towards the target and rushed to it. By "stuff did not seem right", I meant I realized the seriousness of it .. it was not a game / simulation, like the FPS dreams have been (guns usually don't hurt in those dreams). I also realized that although the targets seemed like statues, they actually were not. Similarly to this dream, I could feel the dormant danger of the targets .. they seemed alive but somehow frozen or inanimate. Hmm .. remembered that since hitting the shield, the shockwave and cracking propagated very slowly. Perhaps the targets had been locked in time somehow?
On a better note, I've been taking quite a few chances at participating in events that I usually wouldn't. This has been having a positive (though, so far temporary) effect on my awareness.
A few nights ago I had a strange (unusual) dream. Workshop / seminar stuff .. then became bored, lucid and started playing parkour around the place. This eventually developed into flying around. Some entity to my right drew me to what looked like an FPS target practice at a park. I was a bit surprised that firearms did not work there. Obviously the idea was to charge at the target, flying as fast as I could. So I did. The target had several invisible shields around it. This method caused the outermost shield to crack and fall apart. The next attack took the next shield. The next target was summoned. Stuff did not seem right. Took its outermost shield and then I was stopped. One of the entities to my right (there were two, I think) had developed empathy towards the target and rushed to it. By "stuff did not seem right", I meant I realized the seriousness of it .. it was not a game / simulation, like the FPS dreams have been (guns usually don't hurt in those dreams). I also realized that although the targets seemed like statues, they actually were not. Similarly to this dream, I could feel the dormant danger of the targets .. they seemed alive but somehow frozen or inanimate. Hmm .. remembered that since hitting the shield, the shockwave and cracking propagated very slowly. Perhaps the targets had been locked in time somehow?
On a better note, I've been taking quite a few chances at participating in events that I usually wouldn't. This has been having a positive (though, so far temporary) effect on my awareness.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
Merging layers of concentration
Spent a night at a friend's place. Had a delayed Midsummer's Eve of sorts, grilling, sauna, discussed mystic stuff and watched a movie. He's not into mysticism that much and the place was more inspiring for the part of me that's into technology and engineering. A lot of custom-built smart home gadgets and an awesome custom-built security system.
Anyway, at night there I noticed that my layers were apart. Focused them back together, which made me feel a lot better. Lost some energy, though. As usual, couldn't sleep too well the first night at a foreign place. The aura of the place was familiar, reminiscent of my old self. Very inspiring and at the same time, emphasized deep concentration and a certain minimalism (lack of clutter that serves no purpose, everything is optimized for simplicity and efficiency).
Felt tired today. Visited the gym and at first it seemed that I don't have enough energy to keep the pace with Hyena. I was wrong. One of the most rewarding workouts so far. Had a mad appetite for dairy products (cottage cheese, yoghurt, milk) afterwards.
After merging the layers, I've been feeling slightly different. It's as if the head is full of thick psi or something, slightly muffling the sound (while at the same time making it seem full 3D).
Anyway, at night there I noticed that my layers were apart. Focused them back together, which made me feel a lot better. Lost some energy, though. As usual, couldn't sleep too well the first night at a foreign place. The aura of the place was familiar, reminiscent of my old self. Very inspiring and at the same time, emphasized deep concentration and a certain minimalism (lack of clutter that serves no purpose, everything is optimized for simplicity and efficiency).
Felt tired today. Visited the gym and at first it seemed that I don't have enough energy to keep the pace with Hyena. I was wrong. One of the most rewarding workouts so far. Had a mad appetite for dairy products (cottage cheese, yoghurt, milk) afterwards.
After merging the layers, I've been feeling slightly different. It's as if the head is full of thick psi or something, slightly muffling the sound (while at the same time making it seem full 3D).
Friday, June 26, 2015
Pinkish-white
A couple of days ago I encountered this seemingly sourceless fear again. The whole body felt as if on the verge of panic, whereas I could not come up with any viable reason. Panic level rises the more I speak (frustration at the exceptionally limited rate of information transfer). Tried
Tried merging with death (or with what's to the left of the body). This fixed some egoistic arrogance issues that were taking up valuable space in the mind.
Before falling asleep I saw my aura being pinkish-white (not a very healthy sign, I've heard. I don't believe though, since it's unhealthy to think unhealthy things and I haven't come across convincing evidence in this part anyway).
Anyway, to me it seems that I have generated a psychic blockage in the digestive system. Even though I may have eaten a lot of nutritious food, the body panics with dangerously low levels of everything. Because food barely digests. Sugar partially bypasses digestion, which is why there's a faint bodily craving for it. Exercise does not help the digestive system. Diets also don't. Only concentration practice and meditation do. These cause a lot of heat to be released from the abdomen .. like being in a static const sauna of some type; While I'm not meditating, it gets a bit cold. So I keep installing and uninstalling the sweater / fleece like tens of times throughout the day.
What also works is relaxation. Not only relaxing all the muscles but relaxing all of the layers of mind too. The issue is not in the physical body but in one of the mind layers.
Remembered that while I was relaxing the mind on a bus, I felt something crawl up from my throat. It made me cough, only to realize it was not physical, even though it felt so and caused an automatic physical reaction. I assume this something was an ego-construct or something, because this crawling occurred exactly at the moment I realized the petty nature of a part of the mind.
- Expanding the awareness (helped a little, but was disturbed by including other people).
- Focusing awareness on the ground (about 1.5 m into the Earth). Also seemed to have helped a little.
- Focusing on breathing (helped the most, I think).
Tried merging with death (or with what's to the left of the body). This fixed some egoistic arrogance issues that were taking up valuable space in the mind.
Before falling asleep I saw my aura being pinkish-white (not a very healthy sign, I've heard. I don't believe though, since it's unhealthy to think unhealthy things and I haven't come across convincing evidence in this part anyway).
Anyway, to me it seems that I have generated a psychic blockage in the digestive system. Even though I may have eaten a lot of nutritious food, the body panics with dangerously low levels of everything. Because food barely digests. Sugar partially bypasses digestion, which is why there's a faint bodily craving for it. Exercise does not help the digestive system. Diets also don't. Only concentration practice and meditation do. These cause a lot of heat to be released from the abdomen .. like being in a static const sauna of some type; While I'm not meditating, it gets a bit cold. So I keep installing and uninstalling the sweater / fleece like tens of times throughout the day.
What also works is relaxation. Not only relaxing all the muscles but relaxing all of the layers of mind too. The issue is not in the physical body but in one of the mind layers.
Remembered that while I was relaxing the mind on a bus, I felt something crawl up from my throat. It made me cough, only to realize it was not physical, even though it felt so and caused an automatic physical reaction. I assume this something was an ego-construct or something, because this crawling occurred exactly at the moment I realized the petty nature of a part of the mind.
Weird silhouette
Tried letting go of the filters of my sight before bed last night. ::Rhymes, yeah! Pathetic one, tho:(:
Saw the 4D flow of some field that had all the colors and more. "Very trippy" is I guess how people would comment on a visualizer of similar nature. Observed it for until I fell asleep. Some random dreams again. Although I became lucid, I couldn't do much about it. I walked down a dark corridor with green walls of some sort. There was a red-framed square window with a single glass plate to my right. Glanced out. There was a small building or shack in front, an empty street and the faint glow of an upcoming sunrise. There was something behind the window, flying around. At first while writing this down, I thought it was the black silhouette of a large bird, perhaps an eagle .. but I think it was actually a large moth, which had a triangular shape as it circled around. Anyway, this image triggered lucidity. At first I tried to apply psychokinesis on its flight, to make it fly upward and away. Didn't work. Then tried to OBE from the dream .. also didn't work, ended up simply waking up.
At work there's a summer trainee from Korea. While driving back from lunch, she pointed to the sky and wanted us to see what was there. Later I saw it too, but it was quite far already and from the angle I couldn't determine what it was. Asked her what it was, but I didn't get her English. I thought she thought it was a large bird of some sort. Then I thought she thought it was a drone. Here's a list of what came to mind .. in the same order:
Saw the 4D flow of some field that had all the colors and more. "Very trippy" is I guess how people would comment on a visualizer of similar nature. Observed it for until I fell asleep. Some random dreams again. Although I became lucid, I couldn't do much about it. I walked down a dark corridor with green walls of some sort. There was a red-framed square window with a single glass plate to my right. Glanced out. There was a small building or shack in front, an empty street and the faint glow of an upcoming sunrise. There was something behind the window, flying around. At first while writing this down, I thought it was the black silhouette of a large bird, perhaps an eagle .. but I think it was actually a large moth, which had a triangular shape as it circled around. Anyway, this image triggered lucidity. At first I tried to apply psychokinesis on its flight, to make it fly upward and away. Didn't work. Then tried to OBE from the dream .. also didn't work, ended up simply waking up.
At work there's a summer trainee from Korea. While driving back from lunch, she pointed to the sky and wanted us to see what was there. Later I saw it too, but it was quite far already and from the angle I couldn't determine what it was. Asked her what it was, but I didn't get her English. I thought she thought it was a large bird of some sort. Then I thought she thought it was a drone. Here's a list of what came to mind .. in the same order:
- Would be awesome to see a person flying..
- A large bird, such as an eagle, or perhaps a crane?
- ::it came properly into view:: No, can't be .. that's a very weird shape / silhouette .. most likely a drone?
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Talos
Couldn't sleep too well last night. Very warm and a bit too much energy. Then mosquitoes, too.
Had the sensation of hot cobweb of channels within the body.
For the past couple of days I've been enjoying The Talos Principle. It's very good in making the players think outside the box, features a lot of existentialism and hints at spiritual matters as well .. although it remains a bit too shallow (the role-play existentialistic debates are carefully limited to mainstream).
Had the sensation of hot cobweb of channels within the body.
For the past couple of days I've been enjoying The Talos Principle. It's very good in making the players think outside the box, features a lot of existentialism and hints at spiritual matters as well .. although it remains a bit too shallow (the role-play existentialistic debates are carefully limited to mainstream).
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Glimpse at deity body
Sigh, sexual energy is berserk much. Mind enjoys chasing girls I haven't met.
Well, I seem to have a difficulty in getting used to that sort of stuff. A few weeks ago father started dating a woman. One evening he brought her home and leaned against the door frame of my room, hugging each-other tightly. My eyebrows must have been misaligned when I stared at them with a gaping mouth.
A messy way of ruining one's life, my semi-rational mind says with hatred, disappointment, self-pity and some facts from books.
Got something interesting again last night. Actually, I'll start off with the last dream two mornings ago. There were a few of us, exploring some sort of an ancient and mystical place .. full of mysteries and puzzles, obviously. With a barge, we sped down into a new room on a water aqueduct. Down in the middle of the room there was a pool of dark water of seemingly infinite depth. We hit it at full speed and buoyance-bounced back to surface (only penetrated perhaps 20 cm). Realizing we needed more mass or more momentum, we started piling up weights on the barge. ::morning alarm::
Last night before falling asleep, I focused on having the body of a Buddha. I was sort of astonished at the vividness and details of the half-physical body I was visualizing. Tuned it more towards non-physical (consisting of high-frequency vibrations of energy). Might've lost consciousness for a moment (don't remember stuff). At some moment I realized I was seeing golden light above my right hemisphere. Focused on the light. Lost consciousness (or forgot what I experienced), I think. Then suddenly I found myself in the bed again, while the body and mind were quite different. The body and mind felt perfect .. absolutely no worries, thoughts, emotions .. just pure pleasure of being. I continued focusing on the light, I think .. or on the state of body and mind. Managed to maintain the state for a few minutes.
Today I felt hungry for the first time over months. The nightly experience had cleared the gutter so that my digestive system actually worked for a short while. I don't think I managed to sleep much, though .. too energized.
Err .. wait. It seems I remember the perfect body and mind as a bilocated / double being. As if being in the bed next to me, both of us feeling and being exactly the same.
Well, I seem to have a difficulty in getting used to that sort of stuff. A few weeks ago father started dating a woman. One evening he brought her home and leaned against the door frame of my room, hugging each-other tightly. My eyebrows must have been misaligned when I stared at them with a gaping mouth.
A messy way of ruining one's life, my semi-rational mind says with hatred, disappointment, self-pity and some facts from books.
Got something interesting again last night. Actually, I'll start off with the last dream two mornings ago. There were a few of us, exploring some sort of an ancient and mystical place .. full of mysteries and puzzles, obviously. With a barge, we sped down into a new room on a water aqueduct. Down in the middle of the room there was a pool of dark water of seemingly infinite depth. We hit it at full speed and buoyance-bounced back to surface (only penetrated perhaps 20 cm). Realizing we needed more mass or more momentum, we started piling up weights on the barge. ::morning alarm::
Last night before falling asleep, I focused on having the body of a Buddha. I was sort of astonished at the vividness and details of the half-physical body I was visualizing. Tuned it more towards non-physical (consisting of high-frequency vibrations of energy). Might've lost consciousness for a moment (don't remember stuff). At some moment I realized I was seeing golden light above my right hemisphere. Focused on the light. Lost consciousness (or forgot what I experienced), I think. Then suddenly I found myself in the bed again, while the body and mind were quite different. The body and mind felt perfect .. absolutely no worries, thoughts, emotions .. just pure pleasure of being. I continued focusing on the light, I think .. or on the state of body and mind. Managed to maintain the state for a few minutes.
Today I felt hungry for the first time over months. The nightly experience had cleared the gutter so that my digestive system actually worked for a short while. I don't think I managed to sleep much, though .. too energized.
Err .. wait. It seems I remember the perfect body and mind as a bilocated / double being. As if being in the bed next to me, both of us feeling and being exactly the same.
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