Read some more of the Torres' second book. Attempted to create another personality, one that would be tens of thousands of years old, knows everything about how the universe works, is meditating 24/7 and all skills are easy for him. Acting that personality yielded an increase in energy intensity and tummo.
Yesterday also read in the book that eating past 6 (or was it even 4) PM messes up dream control. Somehow it had happened that by bedtime I had not eaten past 2 or 3 PM. This helped a lot. Managed to remain conscious throughout the night. Dreams were not very interesting, though.
Wrote a lengthy reply at a pk forum and when I was about to submit it, I got the error "Your request has timed out. Please try again." Pressed back and the text was gone. Sigh. This is familiar. A few years ago this happened consistently so that I couldn't share personal experience anymore .. or had to do it in such a way that it wouldn't touch ego in the slightest.
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Monday, April 27, 2015
Banish flyer
Energy had come to a standstill again and couldn't focus right. Consciously leaked a lot of energy yesterday, by just focusing on a lower chakra. Greatly underestimated the amount of energy that would leak that way and became very tired very quickly after that. Slept, ate and then willforced sharp focus to pump energy up again.
When I laid down in the bed in the evening, I felt as if some sort of a liquid was injected into my left shoulder. In reality there was nothing there. Sharp pain through a tiny region somewhere between the bones. Today the muscles around the area have been feeling sore .. just like after a vaccination. Sometimes I feel like a cow at a barn, where a vet occasionally comes and injects something.
Thanks to willforce, I had very vivid dreams.
One OBE as well, I think. I went up to the balcony window to check the weather outside. I was not at the apartment .. I don't know where I was, but outside the window, there was a spruce forest. There had been slight rain and the window glass had some water droplets on it. Overall, the weather was warm and foggy. Woke up .. the weather was foggy and there had been some rain, but my balcony window was dry.
One recurring theme in the dreams was tables covered in delicious food that I couldn't eat because always something came up so that I had to leave.
Another theme was flyers (following Castaneda's definition). I took the image of a random flying monster and assigned the label "flyer" to it .. so that it became to symbolize that for me. I then took the symbol, shot an infinitely thin and thick force field at the symbol attached to me. Then blew at the symbol, which became a very strong wind that blew the symbol away so that it disappeared. Basically a lucid ritual in the dream, to cleanse of parasites.
Very nice and warm day. Today evening the blob of nervousness re-appeared. I looked around at the walls, floor, ceiling, the wallpaper and realized that the nervousness did not affect these objects .. thus, it was just an illusion or hallucination of mine. The nervousness was fake. Easy solution: focus on large objects around the body to ease out the energy. While I was at it, sister came into the room. I simply nodded, but when she left, she thanked me for the energetic pattern of mine, which had helped her.
When I laid down in the bed in the evening, I felt as if some sort of a liquid was injected into my left shoulder. In reality there was nothing there. Sharp pain through a tiny region somewhere between the bones. Today the muscles around the area have been feeling sore .. just like after a vaccination. Sometimes I feel like a cow at a barn, where a vet occasionally comes and injects something.
Thanks to willforce, I had very vivid dreams.
One OBE as well, I think. I went up to the balcony window to check the weather outside. I was not at the apartment .. I don't know where I was, but outside the window, there was a spruce forest. There had been slight rain and the window glass had some water droplets on it. Overall, the weather was warm and foggy. Woke up .. the weather was foggy and there had been some rain, but my balcony window was dry.
One recurring theme in the dreams was tables covered in delicious food that I couldn't eat because always something came up so that I had to leave.
Another theme was flyers (following Castaneda's definition). I took the image of a random flying monster and assigned the label "flyer" to it .. so that it became to symbolize that for me. I then took the symbol, shot an infinitely thin and thick force field at the symbol attached to me. Then blew at the symbol, which became a very strong wind that blew the symbol away so that it disappeared. Basically a lucid ritual in the dream, to cleanse of parasites.
Very nice and warm day. Today evening the blob of nervousness re-appeared. I looked around at the walls, floor, ceiling, the wallpaper and realized that the nervousness did not affect these objects .. thus, it was just an illusion or hallucination of mine. The nervousness was fake. Easy solution: focus on large objects around the body to ease out the energy. While I was at it, sister came into the room. I simply nodded, but when she left, she thanked me for the energetic pattern of mine, which had helped her.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Dangers of the scalar
Some things I've noticed during the past few days:
http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/scalar_tech/esp_scalartech37.htm
Anyway, even though the text seems to have been written by some guy who isn't very familiar with scalar fields, it did trigger spontaneous visualization and the familiar feeling of remembering how it works. Though, the attunement to the perspective where it all fit together, only lasted for a few hours.
With an idea of the power of scalar standing waves and Earth grid lines, this "dream" now makes more sense:
http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2013/06/gloomy-dreams.html
Also, it seems that the more I remember about it, the less interested I am in technology in general. My curiosity for science and technology seems to be mainly driven by having forgotten it all. Although on one hand I would want helpful technology to be accessible to everyone, it seems that already the working principle of scalar fields makes it very difficult to use without destructive consequences (which are hard to predict). The fact that we're still here probably indicates that whoever is using the technology, has been using it quite carefully so far. Anyway, because of all the dangers I think commercialization (read: everyday use) of that technology probably won't happen during my lifetime and maybe not even during the generation that comes after me.
All in all, spiritual practice and psychokinesis seems to be the best way to study scalar fields, because it provides direct feedback. I guess psychokinesis is more difficult to use immaturely, whereas everyone could poke the big red button on a physical gadget.
- Yesterday saw flashes of yellowish-white light, which sometimes had a pattern (reminded of interference pattern). Light source was always out of view and somewhere from behind or from above the head. Saw it with my eyes open.
- Yesterday morning I woke on the sound of a mattress spring creaking back and forth just at the back of the head. As I woke up, the sound faded away .. consciousness had sunk into the mattress.
- The tiredness + lump of nervousness + pain in the heart chakra was back today. Noticed more geisting with sharper influence (snapping of furniture, mostly).
- Since reading Armando Torres' book and playing Might & Magic with Stronghold, there have been more shaman-lookalikes in the dreams.
http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/scalar_tech/esp_scalartech37.htm
Anyway, even though the text seems to have been written by some guy who isn't very familiar with scalar fields, it did trigger spontaneous visualization and the familiar feeling of remembering how it works. Though, the attunement to the perspective where it all fit together, only lasted for a few hours.
With an idea of the power of scalar standing waves and Earth grid lines, this "dream" now makes more sense:
http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2013/06/gloomy-dreams.html
Also, it seems that the more I remember about it, the less interested I am in technology in general. My curiosity for science and technology seems to be mainly driven by having forgotten it all. Although on one hand I would want helpful technology to be accessible to everyone, it seems that already the working principle of scalar fields makes it very difficult to use without destructive consequences (which are hard to predict). The fact that we're still here probably indicates that whoever is using the technology, has been using it quite carefully so far. Anyway, because of all the dangers I think commercialization (read: everyday use) of that technology probably won't happen during my lifetime and maybe not even during the generation that comes after me.
All in all, spiritual practice and psychokinesis seems to be the best way to study scalar fields, because it provides direct feedback. I guess psychokinesis is more difficult to use immaturely, whereas everyone could poke the big red button on a physical gadget.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Change
So far this week has been .. different. It doesn't take so much concentration to energy / kundalini moving up the spine. Also, I've been feeling more fresh. Just 6 hours is usually enough and can't really push myself to sleep more.
Yesterday there was some other kind of breakthrough as well. This nervousness and pressure built up at the heart chakra. Then it suddenly started dissipating and by today morning it was replaced by a feeling of pleasure everywhere in the body.
I've occasionally practised the visualization of becoming lighter. Running the stairs seemed different (not exhausting anymore), as does walking long distances. In addition, noticed that with a strong wind (today) I could stand stable (I was amazed when I compared it to how I remember that it used to be).
Recently I've been playing Might & Magic in the evenings. This has affected the way I handle energy - thinking it through before spending it on anything.
There has been also something going on around the throat chakra. Today I noticed something different. There was some sort of a self-respect or confidence, which was not connected to the ego. I guess I had buried it all, thinking it was all ego. Perhaps this was the reason for issues with the heart chakra?
The index finger of the left hand has been hurting for about a week or more now. I don't know what's up with that.
Yesterday there was some other kind of breakthrough as well. This nervousness and pressure built up at the heart chakra. Then it suddenly started dissipating and by today morning it was replaced by a feeling of pleasure everywhere in the body.
I've occasionally practised the visualization of becoming lighter. Running the stairs seemed different (not exhausting anymore), as does walking long distances. In addition, noticed that with a strong wind (today) I could stand stable (I was amazed when I compared it to how I remember that it used to be).
Recently I've been playing Might & Magic in the evenings. This has affected the way I handle energy - thinking it through before spending it on anything.
There has been also something going on around the throat chakra. Today I noticed something different. There was some sort of a self-respect or confidence, which was not connected to the ego. I guess I had buried it all, thinking it was all ego. Perhaps this was the reason for issues with the heart chakra?
The index finger of the left hand has been hurting for about a week or more now. I don't know what's up with that.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Concentration
A pretty sunset, blocked by apartment blocks. Out of boredom and frustration, I did a longer session of staring. First I listened to music and stared at the background images, to try and quiet the mind.
Sat on the bed and tried to meditate, but fell asleep pretty quick. So, I cycled through various practices. Trataka on the indicator light of an extension cord. Then closed the eyes and focused on the feeling of the room. Just before falling asleep, I laid down on my back and stared at the lamp and practised lighting it up with pk. When the eyes got tired again, closed them and practised the sensation of weightlessness and levitation. When close to falling asleep again, I continued with trataka on the indicator light and so on..
Noticed something new. Well, it's not new that my eye-sight is sometimes very good and sometimes the eyes don't focus very well. However, noticed that the clarity of sight depends on concentration. Trataka on the extension cord indicator progressed in cycles where my mind fixed onto the target (the image became very sharp), then relaxed (the image of the light turned into what looked like a flower of blurry light).
During one of the pk sessions on the lamp, concentration peaked a record, I think. The lamp did not light up, but for a split-second a very bright orb appeared about 50 cm from it, and caused a spot of reduced sensitivity on the eyes.
Returned to the laptop, checked the forum and found an old post from Owltwelve, with the following videos:
Very short clips, but explained the issues I've been having for quite a while already. All of this has been rubbing my nose, but somehow I've still managed to miss it.
Sat on the bed and tried to meditate, but fell asleep pretty quick. So, I cycled through various practices. Trataka on the indicator light of an extension cord. Then closed the eyes and focused on the feeling of the room. Just before falling asleep, I laid down on my back and stared at the lamp and practised lighting it up with pk. When the eyes got tired again, closed them and practised the sensation of weightlessness and levitation. When close to falling asleep again, I continued with trataka on the indicator light and so on..
Noticed something new. Well, it's not new that my eye-sight is sometimes very good and sometimes the eyes don't focus very well. However, noticed that the clarity of sight depends on concentration. Trataka on the extension cord indicator progressed in cycles where my mind fixed onto the target (the image became very sharp), then relaxed (the image of the light turned into what looked like a flower of blurry light).
During one of the pk sessions on the lamp, concentration peaked a record, I think. The lamp did not light up, but for a split-second a very bright orb appeared about 50 cm from it, and caused a spot of reduced sensitivity on the eyes.
Returned to the laptop, checked the forum and found an old post from Owltwelve, with the following videos:
Very short clips, but explained the issues I've been having for quite a while already. All of this has been rubbing my nose, but somehow I've still managed to miss it.
Emerald portal in the bog
Barely felt tired at all and had only boring dreams. One dream was somewhat special. I disembarked a train or stepped out of a bus or something but had so many bags and stuff with me that I couldn't carry them out in one go. Two other people were waiting for me outside and when I asked for them to hold onto the bags for me, they said "no" with a blank face. Slightly disappointed in their reaction, I took all the bags and threw them as far as I could, no matter what was in them (probably clothes, laptop and some other fragile things). Also marked the action with the intent of letting go of all the burdens I had accumulated.
Stretched sleep and got two lucid dreams where I was just a cloud of consciousness. In one of them, a couple hiked to a bog and put up a tent. The man looked around twice. On the second glance, he saw a leafless tree on a lake next to the tent. It seemed as if the branches were holding a large emerald (the tree and gem weren't there the previous time he looked). There may have been some sort of a creature there as well. The man commented on it (only he saw it) and went towards it. As he came closer to the gem, he started having a discussion with an intelligent energy form at the gem. The man agreed to disappear for a day and re-materialize right when his wife would be out there, looking for him (which would happen at a specific time - 11?).
There was also a very dynamic dream (every thought manifested), which contained a lot of 11:11 synchronicity.
Today realized something about some form of energy and its relation to the fire element. After realizing this, an energy blockage was released in the abdomen.
Sometimes I'm a bit frustrated about my lack of progress. I remember how it didn't matter what I ate, listened to, etc .. everything was converted to pure energy. Also, how I always "saw" or felt the light that penetrated everything. As a response to this frustration, the rational mind says: "Will not strong enough. Need to apply more force." Today I felt a safety limit on the strength of willpower and realized it's fire and should be contained and concentrated for efficiency.
Impulsive discussion with father today, followed by at least 15 minutes of silence where I just stared out of the window.
While reading the Armando Torres' second book again, I sensed a faint presence in my room. It looked around, criticized the music I was listening to, then looked around the rest of the room, analyzing the energy. Tried to keep my focus split: partially on reading the book, partially on the guest.
Stretched sleep and got two lucid dreams where I was just a cloud of consciousness. In one of them, a couple hiked to a bog and put up a tent. The man looked around twice. On the second glance, he saw a leafless tree on a lake next to the tent. It seemed as if the branches were holding a large emerald (the tree and gem weren't there the previous time he looked). There may have been some sort of a creature there as well. The man commented on it (only he saw it) and went towards it. As he came closer to the gem, he started having a discussion with an intelligent energy form at the gem. The man agreed to disappear for a day and re-materialize right when his wife would be out there, looking for him (which would happen at a specific time - 11?).
There was also a very dynamic dream (every thought manifested), which contained a lot of 11:11 synchronicity.
Today realized something about some form of energy and its relation to the fire element. After realizing this, an energy blockage was released in the abdomen.
Sometimes I'm a bit frustrated about my lack of progress. I remember how it didn't matter what I ate, listened to, etc .. everything was converted to pure energy. Also, how I always "saw" or felt the light that penetrated everything. As a response to this frustration, the rational mind says: "Will not strong enough. Need to apply more force." Today I felt a safety limit on the strength of willpower and realized it's fire and should be contained and concentrated for efficiency.
Impulsive discussion with father today, followed by at least 15 minutes of silence where I just stared out of the window.
While reading the Armando Torres' second book again, I sensed a faint presence in my room. It looked around, criticized the music I was listening to, then looked around the rest of the room, analyzing the energy. Tried to keep my focus split: partially on reading the book, partially on the guest.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Location
The stomach ache is gone, more-or-less. Concentration has improved nicely.
For the past few days I've been having issues with sexual energy. Today evening I tried moving it upwards by focusing on the pineal gland, 3rd eye or crown .. while listening to music from the laptop. After some concentration, I realized I had lost awareness of where I was (had no short-term memory of it). It felt as if I was at my desk at work (at least, that's how it felt with the elbows against the surface). Before opening the eyes, I put forth some effort into visualizing myself at home .. the feeling of the table and chair gradually changed. Opened the eyes when I was confident that I was at home. The eyes I kept closed just in case, because I'm not sure I would've been able to come back after seeing myself at another location.
Oh, another thing that I noticed during the concentration practice. The smell of air changed as well. Both places were dark, though. I'm glad the office is not under alarm. Though, it would've still been quite a problem if I had come to in a closed building 20 km from the town, with 2 meetings in the town tomorrow morning.
For the past few days I've been having issues with sexual energy. Today evening I tried moving it upwards by focusing on the pineal gland, 3rd eye or crown .. while listening to music from the laptop. After some concentration, I realized I had lost awareness of where I was (had no short-term memory of it). It felt as if I was at my desk at work (at least, that's how it felt with the elbows against the surface). Before opening the eyes, I put forth some effort into visualizing myself at home .. the feeling of the table and chair gradually changed. Opened the eyes when I was confident that I was at home. The eyes I kept closed just in case, because I'm not sure I would've been able to come back after seeing myself at another location.
Oh, another thing that I noticed during the concentration practice. The smell of air changed as well. Both places were dark, though. I'm glad the office is not under alarm. Though, it would've still been quite a problem if I had come to in a closed building 20 km from the town, with 2 meetings in the town tomorrow morning.
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