For years, I had been looking for people who might understand me well enough such that I could talk freely about anything I wanted to. I even tried to make it as easy as I could, by openly talking about aspects which I considered to be different from those of others.
A few days ago I realized how pointless it was, and then a couple of days ago I also realized how it had caused problems. It seems that my attempts to be open have been harmful to people instead of helping anyone understand me any better. Moreover, by blabbing that much all the time, I think I've been wasting a substantial part of my breath / energy.
Thinking back on it now, I'm not sure where this craving for being understood sourced from, or why I thought it mattered to me.
Other than that, there have been some interesting synchronicities recently.
I've practised relaxing the body before sleep, and I've tried to feel more lightweight at times.
In the bathroom at work, one of the cabinets is without a light. I've been using it, for probably nobody else would. I've noticed that I've started to see better in the dark, without it having any side-effects while in full sunlight.
While meditating a bit yesterday, I saw myself in pure white. The white had a spatial distribution to it (it wasn't just a robe).
From a dream today morning, I noticed a curious detail. A group of people were discussing something, and a guy randomly mentioned the frequency of 30 MHz. It then occurred to him that I was eavesdropping, and he tried to clear the history by doing something completely random (he picked a mic and started singing).
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