Final journey

The evening before the final journey (52 km in full gear + 40 kg of backpack at a pretty high speed), I wished for a nice weather and that there wouldn't be many gravel roads (loose rocks tend to mess up my feet). Next morning it's snowing heavily. At first I was disappointed, but after a 100 m of walking on the gravel roads, I realized my wish had actually come true - thanks to snow, there were barely any loose rocks and the road was soft for the feet.

After 20 km and back at the camp, we were all wet and I wished there would be sunshine for the next 32 km. A couple of minutes later I noticed that the sky was clear. Next morning we set off with a nice sunshine. The downside was that the road was covered in ice and the dry pair of shoes were not too comfortable (the ones that had so far always messed up my feet).

Decided not to shout for any pauses myself. Kept poking the lieutenant and other guys with the thought "Pause" until we got one and I could set the backpack and stuff correctly again (it always got loose, started peeling the hips or fell on the shoulders with all its weight). At some point, I decided to quit because of the hips, shoulders and feet. I thought: "I'll quit at the next stop." After maybe 3 km, I thought: "Yup, I'll quit even if it's the last stop and even if it's still 10 km." Well, at the stop, the only problem was that it was the last stop and there was only about 10 km to go so that the lieutenant did not allow anyone to quit. I finished the journey, but didn't achieve anything in my mind.

One thing that I noticed on the journeys was that even my subconscious was "lying" to me. Have a strong feeling that the finish is 250 m behind that bush. I reach that bush, it says it's 400 m behind the next left turn. I reach the turn and the same stuff goes on..

There was one way to withstand the pain (usually the bottoms of the feet or hips) - walking in a meditative state with focus outside of the body. I was always too tired for levitation or pk training during the journeys.