Ego has recently been beaten a lot (about a week of accidental repetitive mistakes) and has taken offence. I feel like withdrawing my bonds and doing what I love to do without caring about anything around me. That's what hurts the ego most. It starts to pity itself. Not caring is not too noble and it's a trap of karma.
The beauty in sad music is that it makes me sad and feel compassion towards myself. It fuels detachment. While "recovering" from the detachment (aka becoming attached to the worldly stuff and ego again), there's often a great burst of inspiration and motivation.
Ego doesn't like White Skeleton meditation, because it takes too long to practice. Laid down in bed and practiced it yesterday evening, fighting the phenomena of my mind falling asleep at the same time. It took about 1.5 to 2 hours and I still didn't focus on all of the bones for long enough. That is, for some bones, the feeling was a bit too weak. Ego wanted to get some sleep instead.
Ego wants me to read the psychokinesis forum, but I don't feel the need. How come I visit the place and act like a know-it-all while I even haven't practiced pk much recently? Wow, the ego loves biting itself and then whining about it, waiting for others to feel compassion.
Browsed a book of Eastern Mythology in grandfather's library. The term Bodhisattva caught my attention. I guess this is what I, my ego wants to be. After describing the empathy method to iJodix last weekend, I think I messed up.
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