Trap

Wow, it's been a while. I think I fell .. pretty deep into the murky waters.

I guess that last meditation session materialized some deeper fears or something. Lost all motivation for going forward on the path towards enlightenment. No more motivation for practicing pk or even reading any of that stuff. With just 1 day, I had lost all belief, seemingly without any reason.

It took me a couple of days to get back to where I am now .. can feel psi again. A part of the belief is back. I've learned something on the way.

Don't look back, that's not who you want to be. That I've done on almost every pk session .. looking back in hopes of being able to remember it better for blogging. I get the feeling that if only I had kept walking, I would've become enlightened multiple times over (judging by all the visions, at least). Coming back after each step only to write it all down .. is not very reasonable.

That gym training that my friend makes me go through, it's not too convenient pk-wise. It makes all muscles ache, driving chi downwards from the crown. I can feel chi rushing around in the regions that have become sore. As a side-effect, this brings more chi into the lower chakras and highlights problems that I had missed before. It seems that focusing on the crown chakra doesn't solve anything on its own. It seems like a short-circuit to a realm that I haven't reached quite yet. So, in a sense, I could say I was fleeing from my own problems by bringing chi up into the crown. That's a pretty good answer to the question I had from the dream yoga book.

Affirmations, thanks a lot. You helped me make my way out of the pit. I see light and weather is nicer again. My dreams have become more pleasant and better controlled again and so has "real life".

Edit: Read Owltwelve's "Stick in the mud" post. Thank you so much! It related to a lot of what I've been experiencing recently.