Free hugs

Listened to binaural while taking a nap and intended on astral travel. The intermediate stages of mind, just before falling asleep were interesting. Different thoughts and interesting perspective on things. The term "powers" or "superpowers" for psychokinesis already is very misleading. "abilities" is also misleading. And yet, in most movies and anime, these are the terms used. Anyway, from this perspective, I've been born on foreign land, because my native language has an accurate term for this. It seemed like my native language can't be written or spoken, because each term is a sensation with all the details. The language is used for communicating directly, via telepathy.

When I gained consciousness again, I had done a lot of work at the laptop, while sitting on the bed. Proud, I stood up and moved around a little. I sort of saw 3 realities at once. Stepped into the second one, where the laptop was still in the backpack since I had last left for the 1st reality and used the laptop in there. Anyway, in the 2nd one, I moved the backpack a little and found that a pillow had fallen on the floor, right next to it. For some reason, I either couldn't move the pillow or just left it there. Faded through the wall into the 3rd reality, where it was dark. The laptop was on the edge of a table, next to a desktop computer. Something was running on both computers simultaneously. When I checked stuff on the laptop, the fans of the desktop computer sped up. Dunno .. doing something strange via remote desktop? Those 3 realities were all that I was aware of, but then it happened that I woke into the 4th. Somehow the 4th felt so much brighter, more colourful and more lovely. Just laid there in bed for some time, enjoying the details of the 4th with the eyes still closed. Let myself slowly gather into the body while enjoying the sunlight, birds and the sky. Stood up and walked around .. the body was amazingly light and performed very well. By the way, the 4th one is this reality.

It used to be effortless. But now I was pretty happy when I found a small region within me radiating light. Tried to maintain clean focus on it. Realized it has been years since I last knew the sensation of hugging something. Used to hug trees, the ground, grass, wind, water .. everything, mentally. Unconditional love and hugging may be gay as in lighthearted and carefree, but it's definitely not homosexual .. it has nothing to do with sex. For some reason, there's a common misconception that love = sex. This sort of discourages a lot of healthy practices. Without stimulation, heart chakra shuts down. With stress and fear, it's pushed even further. Hugging and love stimulates the heart chakra. For me, just visualizing the feeling of hugging something released a lot of pain through the chest and hands. Imagine walking on the street, loving the asphalt, loving the wind, loving the cars speeding past, loving the birds chirping on the trees, loving the trees .. I miss that. I've missed that for years.

A small change in the psi field causes some pretty loud crackling or snapping noises. I guess the bed moved a little while I was in the bed, not moving. The sound of bed legs rubbing against the floor for less than a second. While visualizing hugging a teddy dog, it happened 2 or 3 times that a loud sound appeared from somewhere in the room .. the sound of something plastic exploding or being ripped into shreds.

Yesterday when I had a chat with sister, it seemed as if the heaviest piece of furniture suddenly moved slightly and made a loud snapping sound.

While coming home from the store a couple of days ago, I noticed that the streetlights occasionally changed brightness. What was strange though, they all changed brightness in sync. So far I've usually geisted one or two streetlights at a time.

An amazing anime:
http://kissanime.com/Anime/Toaru-Kagaku-no-Railgun-S
The main character reminds me of Mom.

Something else that I've considered posting here. A few days ago I found myself unhappy with myself because of having forgotten the light switched on at the lab. Enjoyed a part of myself bullying another part of myself. This was also reflected by other people around me. Realized that the reason for all of this is that I'm trying to escape from responsibility. I don't want to be responsible for mistakes. That's not how I used to look at things.

I've been confused between two ideologies again. Which one is right?

• Focus on the problem to solve it. Once solved, the problem won't be a bother anymore. No problems are solved by ignoring them.
• Focus on what you want to manifest. Thus, one should not focus on problems. Because by focusing on a problem, one would only cause problems to pile up, resulting in an infinite cycle.

Realized that I've been experimenting with the first one for some time now. However, deep down I don't believe in the first one. So, deep down I've been sort of applying the first one to prove myself right (which is totally absurd).