Tried a different way of letting go last night. Observed the faint pattern of light in the ceiling, walls. At some moment, I think I saw through closed eyelids. Though, when I pressed the eyes shut stronger, the image became darker and blurred. It's possible that the eyes had slipped slightly open on their own. Interestingly, the painful blob in the chest didn't fade immediately after relaxation (like it has done before), but spread out into the shoulders first.
For the whole night, I was busy working on something. Occasionally realized how late it was and thought: "I'll have to go to sleep soon.." and then continued working, until I woke up 5 min before the alarm. Felt as if I hadn't slept at all.
Although I was a bit tired, my concentration was something else. Became absorbed in almost anything I worked on. For some reason, people liked to praise me today. It troubled me for long, until I realized I had not let it go. After work, I observed the nature .. trees, clouds, grass, birds. Paid attention to the depth of focus and tried not to become lost in anything.
Then a squirrel hopped down a spruce, with two sparrows flying after it, pecking it with their beaks. At first it made me smile, but after observing it for a while, I noticed I had started to associate myself with the squirrel (I've noticed exactly the same habit while dreaming, also). The squirrel crossed the parking lot and climbed the next tree (linden, I think), from there it ran to the end of a branch and onto another spruce. I think its home was there. Anyway, tried to let go of empathizing with the squirrel, as I did not know the reason why the birds were picking on it.
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