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The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..


Wednesday, May 13, 2015

World: inspiring, mysterious, awesome

Took a nap. Woke in a dream / OBE of sorts, when I heard something buzzing. Listened to the noise and wondered where it came from. Moved around the room (away from the laptop), trying to pinpoint the source. I thought I had found it (some sort of a device in black plastic, with ribs). The noise seemed to have come from there. However, soon I found it strange .. because the whole room was vibrating, along with the wall that was the nearest to that device. Felt the vibration with the whole body. Tapped into it. Then thought of pulling the plug to see if the vibration remains .. but woke up.

Actually, now that I think back on it, the device was on an extension cord exactly like my laptop. And the laptop is made out of black plastic .. and the extension-cord side of it has ribs. Somewhat weird morphing of 3d space .. which is rather common for OBEs.

Chatted with a colleague, then sister's cellphone alarm woke me up. Perfect timing for a skype chat.

There were several other experiences also during the nap, the details of which have sort of faded .. they weren't describable by the rational mind anyway.

Hmm .. I've been feeling more anxious recently .. psi intensity has increased, so has geisting and the anxiety / nervousness has become a physical feeling in the chest / at the back.

I've been seeing flashes of light a lot, too. Or lights hanging somewhere mid-air, in peripheral vision.

While listening to some more of Castaneda's "Journey to Ixtlan". It was getting dark and the stories were about "jogging" in the dark. It occurred to me that deep down I somehow knew most of what don Juan was teaching. In this life I have practised several of the techniques without having been taught about them. I've noticed the same with yoga, chi gong and so on..

That jogging in pitch black darkness with just intuition guiding me. Those visits to the pastry and forest in the dark, hunting for power. That gazing slightly out of focus, doing nothing, staring at leaf shadows, at the space between the leaves and so on. Castaneda's preference on sunset also applies for me. I've been gazing at the sunset in a similar way .. though, since we don't have mountains, I used to do it from tree tops.

Even though I did not like the term "warrior" at all, I have been striving towards it since I was a few years old. For me, uncle was one. Back then he practised karate, stick-fighting, meditation on his own and rarely talked .. just trained himself. He was cool in every way I could imagine, dressed like Neo, with a black hat, a long coat and stuff .. walked without a sound, practised sun-gazing, running up trees and always acted unpredictably. I tried to stick to him whenever possible, asking him to teach me. Though, with me around, he soon dropped it. Back then, aunt was also really inspiring .. reading mystical stories of old yogis and their moments of realization. She loved to make everything around me seem magical. Sometimes (so far once four years ago) I've also come close to the way of the warrior and recognized myself in others.

I'm really grateful to the family and all they have taught me as well as all they haven't. I'm also grateful for everything I've been taught via other methods, for what I've learned as well as for what I will learn. The world truly is exceptionally inspiring, mysterious and awesome .. when approached in that way.

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