Pinkish-white

A couple of days ago I encountered this seemingly sourceless fear again. The whole body felt as if on the verge of panic, whereas I could not come up with any viable reason. Panic level rises the more I speak (frustration at the exceptionally limited rate of information transfer). Tried

1. Expanding the awareness (helped a little, but was disturbed by including other people).
2. Focusing awareness on the ground (about 1.5 m into the Earth). Also seemed to have helped a little.
3. Focusing on breathing (helped the most, I think).

Had a few realizations that simplified my world view. Ego, karma, disease, death, concentration sort of merged together.

Tried merging with death (or with what's to the left of the body). This fixed some egoistic arrogance issues that were taking up valuable space in the mind.

Before falling asleep I saw my aura being pinkish-white (not a very healthy sign, I've heard. I don't believe though, since it's unhealthy to think unhealthy things and I haven't come across convincing evidence in this part anyway).

Anyway, to me it seems that I have generated a psychic blockage in the digestive system. Even though I may have eaten a lot of nutritious food, the body panics with dangerously low levels of everything. Because food barely digests. Sugar partially bypasses digestion, which is why there's a faint bodily craving for it. Exercise does not help the digestive system. Diets also don't. Only concentration practice and meditation do. These cause a lot of heat to be released from the abdomen .. like being in a static const sauna of some type; While I'm not meditating, it gets a bit cold. So I keep installing and uninstalling the sweater / fleece like tens of times throughout the day.

What also works is relaxation. Not only relaxing all the muscles but relaxing all of the layers of mind too. The issue is not in the physical body but in one of the mind layers.

Remembered that while I was relaxing the mind on a bus, I felt something crawl up from my throat. It made me cough, only to realize it was not physical, even though it felt so and caused an automatic physical reaction. I assume this something was an ego-construct or something, because this crawling occurred exactly at the moment I realized the petty nature of a part of the mind.