Orb avoiding obstacles

I suspect that when I was seeing blue flashes in the dark, it might've been due to having glanced at the bright red LED of the projector clock. That's because I haven't used the projector clock for months and I haven't seen the blue flashes anymore.

However, there's another phenomena that I haven't quite figured out yet. Yesterday had a visiting journalist who was making interviews. Suddenly I saw a bright golden orb float near the wall of the room. It floated past one table, at which point I moved my eyes away (so that I could no longer see it) and back. I still saw it but by that time, it had almost gone past the other table next to the previous one. It continued moving in the same direction, until it got to the rectangular pillar-like thing with sockets for electricity and ethernet cables (how's it called?). Then the orb actually curved around the pillar and continued in the same direction, just along the wall. I confirmed that I could see it with both of my eyes, first with one, then with the other (it's only visible in quite narrow viewing angles). While it's otherwise nearly impossible to estimate the size of these things or their distance, I find it amazing that they would react to objects in the room.

There's one thing about these orbs that makes me feel a bit uneasy. When looking at them, it feels as if it's emitting a lot of radiation of some sort. It feels almost like looking at a welding arc without protection .. at a distance, of course. But additionally, when I once saw one of these orbs fly past my head on my left, I felt some kind of radiation on the left side of my head .. through the skull and through the brain. Even though fun to look at, these things might not be all that healthy.

So far I haven't had anyone else telling me about these, so I suspect they probably don't see it. Well, it is a somewhat rare sight and only visible from quite limited angles.

Timerant

Right orb

One day while taking a nap with my eyes closed, I saw an orb fly towards me from my right. It flew into my right eyeball and stopped there.

Car

With Mom in the country and itching for a car, we took a trip to the capital yesterday to check a used vehicle or two. A relative gave us very good advice on how to perform background check. We ended up skipping one of the cars. On another car, the ignition lock had just broken. This made me somewhat more paranoid about used cars. Though, a new car still costs a bit too much.

Oh well, so we finished all the other quests on Mom's checklist. Adapted those quests for myself as well. Visited my sister's new apartment. Bought a book on the life of Milarepa from an antique shop (same book that aunt and uncle had read to me when I was a few years old). Mom bought a somewhat rare book on them illuminazis.

Rover photos

Last weekend I retouched some of grandpa's old photos for another one of his books. Removed dust, fingerprints, enhancing contrast and the like.


In the meantime, I browsed rover photos (and apollo photos) and watched some youtube videos that pointed out some specific photos to look at. Recognized traces of sloppy retouching on some of the photos. Also, they missed some of the anomalies which hinted at what might've been concealed by their brush or clone tool. For me this alone is a good enough argument against the conspiracy theory that "Mars rovers never made it any farther than Devon island" or that "Humans never visited the Moon". On Earth they wouldn't need that sloppy brushing.

Nazi saucers

Read on Nazi flying saucers (not UFOs because they're identified flying objects) again and noticed that during the past few years I've managed to digest it a little. Even the conventional saucers used to seem mysterious but now they no longer do. Both the aerodynamics of the designs as well as the way Germans approached it make sense.

https://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/ufo_aleman/rfz/index.htm

I assume (perhaps out of slight ignorance) that since these designs are more than 70 years old without mass production, the patents should be outdated by now. Also, it's publicly available literature so none of it should anymore be a matter of national security or somesuch.

Would be awesome to build small remote controlled drones to test and experiment with the Fleissner design, for example. Perhaps together with some engineers with experience in model rockets and model airplanes.

Vacation

Sigh. A typical smalltalk from the interns: "So how's your vacation going?" + some giggles. My typical reply: "It's going well, I suppose." They then keep the distance, y'know maybe it's contagious.

No vacation and can't do much about it. I've noticed that I've become addicted to the absence of vacation. Always hoping that a vacation would somehow improve something .. leave more time for meditation, psychokinesis, OBE, perhaps enable hiking in the nature, etc. However, I have never had time for these. Whenever I've done any of the aforementioned things, I've done so at the cost of something else but sacrifices almost never feel good.

With disappointment, self-pity and ignorance (sums it all up), I've sacrificed vacation, holidays, weekends, social events to get work done. It's always "nah, will go there do that later when I have time". It's time to stop lying to myself - I'm not going to go there nor do that, for I don't have the time.

By the looks of it, that's how life is - first it's all school, then all work, then all family, then if one survives all of the former, there's retirement with maybe slightly more free time. However, with retirement there are other responsibilities like visiting the other elders to discuss prostheses as well as to whine about the body. There's probably not much time to work on hobbies after death, either.

Sigh. The long awaited summer is here. Several years have I patiently waited for the summer so that I could enjoy it, only to miss it each time and continue waiting for the next summer. This year is no different. Moreover, it's tedious to work throughout this persistent sauna. Spending time in the nature would be so much more attractive.

At least I got to enjoy about a week of summer (and a week of chilly August) a few years ago. This summer I've managed to have a day or two off (including a couple of weekends when I've skipped work for my über-selfish reasons).

To be honest, I'm a bit puzzled why I'm bitching about any of this in the first place. Whether it's vacation or not, the most remarkable difference is simply that I'm doing a different kind of work (typically physical workout instead of just typing away at the laptop). Due to being a workaholic, I easily overdose with both kinds of work so that they start to feel repugnant. Ok there is also the fact that compared to the countryside the city is a rather nervous place and being at the countryside for at least 2 weeks per year works wonders on health. But that should be possible to achieve with meditation as well. Me imagines the stupidity of me running from one place to another, ever hoping for a sanctuary that's a lie anyway.

I ought to be happy with everything that I have. I've noticed that the less I have, the easier it is to be happy with it.

Old Path White Clouds

The next book to read while commuting. It has some very good stories, and it's fairly easy to read even though it's a bit .. volmunious.

For the past week or so, I've been sleeping the other way around (head towards the balcony). Thus far it seems to have produced a good effect. Experienced OBE on the weekend. Shifted consciousness, browsed from past to the future, flew around, flexed out of body.

Last night I had a dream where I approached a table covered in all sort of devices that I had built. There was a slight problem - it was all glowing and about to burst into flames. Spent some time on figuring out how to unplug it without getting shocked. The dream ended when I unplugged it, after which I heard the radiator cooling - they switched off the heat distribution on the apartment block. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I didn't unplug the glowing devices. Except for waking up covered in sweat, what else might happen?

Saw quite a few orbs at my left today, all of them a lot fainter than the one in the previous post.

Babylon 5 Season 4 is not as exciting as the previous seasons. It illustrates the ignorance that often accompanies the first excitement about freedom. "Yarr, finally can do all we want - let's war - it's uh, the only option". Oh well.

Radioactive orb

A heapful of time since the last post again. Very busy times again. Beyond the comfort zone in so many different directions at once. On the other hand, there have also been many moments of realization.

A radioactive orb?

One day several weeks ago, I saw a bright white orb again. Thought it was an effect of my eyes, so I looked at it from various angles and also looked away and back again. The orb floated past my left shoulder. Couldn't tell its distance because it was just a point source but I assumed it was in the same room so not more than 20 cm from me. It looked like a miniature welding arc. Exceptionally bright but non-physical. It did not leave a blotch, similar to what looking into the sun would've done. Also, I couldn't see it when looking straight at it, it was only visible in the periphery. Still, by looking past it in one direction, then at it and then past it in the other direction, I saw that it remained in the same spot in space.

Not the first time that I've seen things like this. However, it was the first time that I felt the orb radiating heat. It was as if the sun (or perhaps slightly cooler than the sun) were shining on my left arm, my cheek .. as well as the rest of the face as I looked at it from different angles. That evening I felt sick unlike anything I had felt for months. After some shivers and a bit of sweating, I was completely fine the next morning again. Weird.

Had a symbolic dream one morning, and I think it might've been the same day that I met the orb.

Dream: Threatening bird

Me and a couple of cousins had climbed a tree. I noticed that the tree branches are bending too much under my weight, so I hopped off to avoid damaging the tree. (in reality, that tree has been dead for several years already) A bit sad that I can't play, I decided to walk across the yard. I was not only sad but also enjoyed the bitter-sweet feeling of loss and I was glad that I had at least spared the tree. Cousins jumped down from the tree as well, ran past me and entered a building on the other side of the yard. I decided to go there as well but some kind of a stupid bird decided to come and pester me. It tried to be as scary as possible, to keep me away from there. I didn't understand why someone would try to keep me away from there .. I've lived there several years of my childhood. What is more, this environment is in my mind and nobody is supposed to stop me from wandering safe places within my own mind. Why is some stupid bird trying to boss around. The bird (sparrowhawk, I think) landed on the roof while I was cursing it. The bird just stood there, staring at me silently, looking way more innocent than it before. I threatened the bird with death, and at that moment, some kind of a demon of death manifested behind me. I was startled by my own words, which did not seem like mine .. and woke up.

Edit: While writing this down, I think I realized what the native hostiles in my own mind are about, probably. Especially after watching some Babylon 5 episodes with battles between the vorlons and shadows. It is not me that they're hostile against, because they and I were born with the environment, the same mindscape. I myself have put up the shields and barriers to keep these places safe. What I have failed to take into account is that sometimes I'm mixed with other entities that are not safe to enter these sacred grounds (my own karma is not always my own). That's why my own guards draw their swords against me, and rightfully so. One must let go of everything that does not belong first. Obvious things that I've forgotten in this society. In the old days, the rituals accounted for all that.

The End of Time

Flipped the bed again. Dreams have been quite random.

Last week while on the way back from work, there was a field with a lot of white orbs flying around. The orbs were only visible from peripheral vision. Looked at them & away for a lot of times.

I'm close to finishing "Divinity: Original Sin Enhanced Edition". An excellent tactical RPG. Haven't tried multiplayer yet, but already the single player is exceptionally good. Armed with inspiration from the game, I intended to visit "The End of Time" while asleep. I guess it didn't happen. However, the daily events were rather strange. As if I had consciously planned or foreseen the whole day. Everything from the choice of clothes, registering on a car in the carpool up until the end of the last meeting .. everything looked as if carefully planned and thought through. Very interesting.


While packing stuff today morning, my mousepad stuck to a cardboard box and fell on the chair. The mousepad features a painting of Guru Padmasambhava. Used the chance to apply some Vajrayana practice, in addition to spontaneous visualization of mudras (these changed throughout the day). While coming home, I realized the meaning of many hands on Hindu deities. I suspect that each deity represents a path, whereas each hand represents the different aspects of the path that need attention. In other words, the deities could be maintaining focus on all the aspects. Usually all the hands and feet have either a different mudra or there's a different object that the deity holds in each hand. It could also be that all the aspects come from the deities' different planes of existence (a multitude of subtle bodies, each refined to perform a specific task).

Multilayer vision

Recently I've been trying to walk "right". I mean, focused into infinity without concentrating on anything in particular. Meditative walking, basically.

Tired. Got about 4 hours of sleep last night. Some internal "turmoil" or karma that apparently I haven't fully digested yet.

Pecked dreams during the last presentations (which were more on politics and project management). Fought the sleepiness with all sorts of methods.

Occasionally I found a brief moment of clarity, in which I felt the illusory nature of my sleepiness. The illusion was cast by a few energy blockages in my system. Somehow I experienced the environment in two ways simultaneously. In one of them, I was clear and there was no sleepiness. In the other I was very sleepy and couldn't fight it off.

Occasionally saw energy filaments around people's heads. Sometimes noticed a lot of faint flashes of coloured lights around the filaments. Once saw a bright blue orb that appeared, stood there for a few seconds and then disappeared.

During a 1:1 discussion session, I noticed that I experienced it on multiple layers simultaneously. I saw the face physically, then felt it empathically .. however, I also saw the face from an OBE-ish viewpoint. This sight was from all the angles simultaneously (as if 4-dimensional) and had an energy overlay. The flashes and interference patterns of coherent volumetric light / energy was visible on top of the somewhat blurry face image. I tried to maintain the input from all the layers without particularly focusing on any. Also tried to avoid prolonged eye contact so that I wouldn't cause any unknown issues (tired and all).

Concentration

A pretty sunset, blocked by apartment blocks. Out of boredom and frustration, I did a longer session of staring. First I listened to music and stared at the background images, to try and quiet the mind.

Sat on the bed and tried to meditate, but fell asleep pretty quick. So, I cycled through various practices. Trataka on the indicator light of an extension cord. Then closed the eyes and focused on the feeling of the room. Just before falling asleep, I laid down on my back and stared at the lamp and practised lighting it up with pk. When the eyes got tired again, closed them and practised the sensation of weightlessness and levitation. When close to falling asleep again, I continued with trataka on the indicator light and so on..

Noticed something new. Well, it's not new that my eye-sight is sometimes very good and sometimes the eyes don't focus very well. However, noticed that the clarity of sight depends on concentration. Trataka on the extension cord indicator progressed in cycles where my mind fixed onto the target (the image became very sharp), then relaxed (the image of the light turned into what looked like a flower of blurry light).

During one of the pk sessions on the lamp, concentration peaked a record, I think. The lamp did not light up, but for a split-second a very bright orb appeared about 50 cm from it, and caused a spot of reduced sensitivity on the eyes.

Returned to the laptop, checked the forum and found an old post from Owltwelve, with the following videos:

Very short clips, but explained the issues I've been having for quite a while already. All of this has been rubbing my nose, but somehow I've still managed to miss it.

Disgust?

Yesterday morning when I woke up, I saw a ball of white light through the window. It then faded away. Refraction of car lights?

Couldn't sleep today morning since 7 AM. There has been a pattern to the recent dreams (last 2 nights).

A couple of nights ago, I was walking around on the street, when I found a large trash can. Sensed something malicious in there. Went in to investigate. Found a bag full of maggots of some sort with just the parasitic intent to consume flesh (dead or alive) and replicate. Feeling disgusted, I was about to step out, only to realize that I was standing on them. Could feel them wiggle around inside and coming out through the mouth. Stepped out, after which, this sensation stopped (lacked a physical body). Fled with panic .. making my escape using whatever pk powers I could think of - flying through solids.

Last night, I was discussing something with dad or sister, while holding an alkaline battery in my hand. It started leaking and when I realized what was happening, my left hand was covered in the liquid. It seemed that as soon as it came into contact with the skin of that semi-holographic body, I could taste it in my mouth. Anyway, my mouth was full of this substance that was slowly decomposing the inside of my mouth. Went into my room, put some effort into focus and managed to extract and separate it in the mouth. By then, it had become something sticky and green-looking. Spit it out little by little.

Several hours later in the dream, when everyone else had went to sleep, I finished cleaning my mouth. Right when I did, I realized there was a cat behind the door. Opened the door.

The cat was crazy about this body and kept jumping at it and rubbing against it. It stood on its tail and jumped from there and whatnot .. very weird tricks. Anyway, this cat had a white spot below its chin (not completely black, as the cat from that OBE). Wasn't sure what others would say about this cat .. well, it seemed I wouldn't be able to do much about it when dad would tell me to toss it out. Had no control over this cat. I think it pooped on my foot and I had to go spit it out again. Turned on the lights and checked the floor, intending to clean it. Couldn't spot anything on the floor.

I guess I had another dream in the meanwhile. When I woke up into this dream (simple transfer of consciousness), I noticed that the cat was still there, jumping around in, on and behind the furniture. In fact, the furniture had changed its place. Started moving it back so that I could at least use the doors to move around. Without knowing where the cat was or would be, while moving furniture, I tried doing it slowly so that the cat would be able to predict the movement without being squashed.

Woke up in another dream. Chin was twitching pretty violently. Looked into the mirror and saw that it was indeed twitching a lot. Also, half the face was itching. Stared at it for some time, then scratched it violently. Woke up, couldn't sleep anymore. Drank some yeast + honey + milk to clean the system.

This dream pattern seems to indicate problems with me disliking what I encounter due to an increase in empathy or sensitivity. Shouldn't flee from stuff. Shouldn't panic. Nothing is dangerous when approached with wisdom.

Dreamramblings

Practised concentration by focusing on the breath before sleep. At some point, I was awoken by someone pinching the little toe of my right foot (non-physical). Argh, oh, right .. ::draws focus back onto breathing::.

Suddenly sensed how prana spiralled through the right half of the head. Got to draw that sometime.

Had a presentation today, witnessed an orb. Later someone asked me what I had been looking at. "Uh .. air, I guess". Someone else: "Btw, I love to stare into the void, trying to spot high energy particles." ::me scratches head::

A lot of awkward dreams recently. All of them had a gloomy-cloudy feel to them.

At the summerhouse. Aunt had left a neatly laid table with potatoes, pieces of cake outside. On first glance, it looked delicious. Asked aunt about it. It was not for me, it was for the Creation. Looked at it again saw that it was rotting, covered in green moss and bugs. Experienced the same thing twice.

Indoors, aunt's son was unhappy, because he could not recognize his mother. She was different. For some reason, aunt was away for a day or two, so I had somehow brought her forward from the past. She was younger but there was a lot of wisdom in her, which I had not recognized earlier.

Cows were in an electrified fence. Attempted to walk past them, but happened to glance at one of them. They moved around and tipped the fence posts. Apparently, the fence was not electrified and the fence posts barely even stayed in place .. so I couldn't undo it, couldn't put it back. Thought: "Oh my, aunt's gonna be angry with me." Aunt came there to help calm the cows. She didn't have anything but love and peace in her mind, not a single thought or emotion.

Back at home, I saw dad and had a vision of a guy in India digging a square hole in the ground with level floor. In there, he made a hollow square of hay bales, on which he slept. Understood the symbol. Then, gradually, the hay bales transformed into blocks of stone or glass wool with holes for windows and doors. Next, I saw dad sewing the wool in the living room, with the dust piling up on the door glass. I found the dust environment a bit unhealthy.

There were two of us someplace unknown. It was some sort of a store, or, two stores .. one at the back of another. We were really late and it was closed already. The salesperson appeared, really worn out and tired. I guess the other person who was with me, bought something from one of the stores, while out of curiosity, I wandered into the second store behind the corner. The selection looked a bit better there, but otherwise there was no difference. The same salesperson came there and bought something from there. On my leave, I found myself in a corridor packed with a lot of people. A man from India looked at me and wanted to know where I was headed and what I was looking for. He expressed that my internal heat was giving him burns. I was unaware of where I was headed or what I was looking for. I just said "I'm sorry" and left, in order not to burn him any longer.

Had produced a lot of sweat while asleep.

Btw, while coming home today, I found delicious-looking apples at the roadside. Took one, but before biting it, I decided to put it back again. These probably were not for me.

Recently, dad has started to think seriously about Margaret's suggestion for him to visit India sometime .. to see the world and people.

Stuff in the room

I've been seeing weird stuff again recently.

Dark or bright shadows moving around, bright orbs.

Last night I saw the reflection of what looked like a grayish-brown bird flying past. The room was lit, but behind the balcony it was pretty dark. Balcony windows were closed. I saw the reflection on laptop screen. Due to the angles and lighting, it would've been physically possible only if the bird were in the room. When I looked over the shoulder, I couldn't see anything.

Sometimes the lighting in the room becomes darker, sometimes brighter. As if something shadowing the ceiling lamp.

Clothing vs aura; construct of cool

Unbelievably hot today. 40 *C, even after rain. Noticed that around the body, a cloud of cool was formed. Similar to how on a cold day, there would be a cloud of warmth.

A couple of days ago father mentioned one of his observations about aura. He said that people usually tend to wear clothes that match the color of their aura. Their favorite color, I reckon.

Performed a reverse experiment. Wore white one day .. saw white flashes of tiny dots around me. Wore blue the next day .. saw blue flashes of tiny dots around me. So, depending on which color I was wearing, the color of the tiny dots / orbs changed.

Earth half-naked

This particular bed feels so much different. After all these years, it's still almost as if sleeping in a fountain of energy.

Woke up tired. Went to work and some time after lunch (and some semi-conscious weather manipulation), something happened that ignited the central flame again. A cloud of heat arose around the body again. Started feeling calm and at times, a bit floaty. Pk felt a lot easier.

The sky cleared up. Father came home as well, from Germany. Now hot again in Estonia. While away from home, half of Earth had a clear sky (except for our home country and its neighbours).

While driving home in a bus last night, I saw a couple of red orbs fall. One of them looked like meteoroid with a red tail. Another one just flashed once and disappeared. Not sure, but these might've been in the aura of my colleague, who was sitting next to the window.

Oh well..

During today's weekly meeting, saw a bright white orb fly from my right to my left (most of the people were sitting towards my left).

Noticed that the orb looked brighter in the field of view of the right eye. In the field of view of the left one, it looked a bit more pale.

Then again, at first I thought it was an eye-effect or something, but when I saw it continue its trajectory with the other eye, then that got debunked. Didn't move the eyes from the laptop screen.

During lunch, I sensed intensity building up and becoming directed at a colleague, with whom we were in a heated discussion. This was unintentional and a little bit surprising. I hope that didn't cause any problems. Sorry, mate.

While going home, I started experiencing sharp pain on the left eyeball. The more energy I directed there, the more it hurt. Slept for a couple of hours at home, which felt pretty good. A pretty random call woke me up. Something about helping to transport windows.

Food fail

Feeling a bit floaty and warping again.

At some moment, I realized I hadn't eaten for a while. Body felt rather weak. Still, that chicken did not look like anything I would want. Had to eat something. Failed at extracting meat, instead, a lot of oil splashed on my pants. Stood up to wash the hand. A fork jumped out of the spoon stand. Mostly kissel + kefir with a cheese sandwich, then.

Light flickers, too.

And while feeling down recently, there has been thunder and lightning. I guess I might have succeeded in shielding the antennas (apparently, nobody went there to disconnect them). Suddenly felt a relief of tension and a calmness. Just lost an UPS.

Breathing into the central channel has become easier again. Sat on the floor, cross-legged, while watching Naruto with Dad. Sitting there felt pretty pleasurable, with the flame warming up heart, hands, throat, crown. Though, as soon as I moved or spoke, the pleasure dissolved again.

Have been seeing white orbs fly around.

Somehow, the sushumna flame seems to be perpendicular to ground, even if I lay down in bed. I don't think this has always been the case, though .. or I don't know .. for some reason, I found it strange.

Bright

Meditated some. Some problems arose in the mind. As I focused in on them, it became darker. Thought "Nah," and let go of them. It became brighter. The brighter it became, the less associated I felt with the body. Opened the eyes and saw everything gradually become really bright, still saw through the eyes, but sensed it from out of body .. witnessed myself meditating, while conscious of observing myself meditating at the same time. The density of psi also increased to a pretty tangible level.

To her surprise, Mom found a lot of people celebrating midsummer day in Spain. She took photos, some of which contained a lot of orbs.

Tired

Felt pretty xhausted yesterday and today.

Started to feel better when I came home and ate a little. Taking a nap improved it even further. Thought I might've caught cold from these rainstorms. An ego-slap feels more likely, though. Tried to step around the edge, but probably still hit the bucket.

A couple of days ago I noticed a sharp change in my state of mind, which caused a bright white orb to appear. Like a flash, it appeared and disappeared again.

Occasionally, when I think of "me", a blue dot appears somewhere nearby.

Noticed that most of the energy is in lower chakras. Gotta work on meditating some.

Planking in the bed

Woke up at 6 AM again, only to go back to bed.
Slept for a couple of hours during the day .. it felt soOo good.

Tried to remain conscious for OBEs and stuff, but pretty much lost consciousness as soon as I planked into the bed.

Somewhere in the half-dream stage I found a way to directly link sexual energy to the heart chakra. This helped to empty the pool a lot, as well as seriously boost empathy for a moment. Though, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep at it for long .. too tired .. lack of concentration .. another unconscious dream.

Forgot to mention that after those couple of hours of sleep during the day,  I ate. And opened a jar of jam from the previous century .. original taste straight from the basement. A lot of finger muscles and sweat to actually pry it open.

Have been seeing a lot of orbs flying around recently. A couple of them flew the exact same trajectory, with slightly different flight departure times. Most of them looked bluish white.

Wait while patience

Sister came home last night and ringed the doorbell just when I had descended into sleep. She had forgotten her jacket somewhere, in which she had the keys.

A bit pissed but not actually caring too much about it, I gave her my keys. She promised to be home in the evening the next day.

Came home, rang the doorbell. Silence. Called her. Silence. Later called her again. Silence. After 3 hours of waiting at the door, I got a bit pissed (why would she go away for so long, when she's aware that I would be there, waiting without keys) and decided to buy at least some snacks or something. Hugged her in my mind, with an intent to forgive. Pretty much at the same moment, sister called back, apologized and said she had fallen asleep while waiting for me.

That's a way to "sudo meditate" me. Roughly half of the time I meditated in the corridor and half of the time practised pk. Didn't have anything else to do.

Could go behind the door with consciousness, but didn't succeed in 'poofing' the body there. Should've practised teleportation earlier.

Obtained the feeling of the door fast, but couldn't make sense of the locking mechanism. So, there I was, slightly wobbling and bending the metal door but unable to open it (interesting, how body awareness faded and vision slowly zoomed in on the door). Too little practise on obtaining the feeling of complex mechanical systems. Tried creating a construct that would unlock it from the inside. Same problem.

About 2 years ago, it happened several times that I opened a locked door (phasing?). Didn't succeed with it on will and with the apartment door. Attempted to phase a hand through the door, which didn't work either (just felt as if the door bent around the finger .. no soft spots).

Tried to think of it all as a lucid dream. Pk awareness increased dramatically. Started to feel walls, multiple floors, doors, people moving around in their apartments, etc. Still not enough to open the door, tho.

Occasionally gathered focus back around the body and meditated some.

Observed a lot of tiny constructs and orbs moving around there. Some of them made a flash and disappeared or started moving really fast. Some of them changed shape, etc. Pretty interesting, haven't seen such a variety in my room.

Also an interesting thing to note. Although there were a lot of people moving around in the corridor / stairway, no-one walked past me. No-one even opened the door on this floor or the next one. This gave me a lot of startles without actually causing me to stop / pause meditation or pk sessions.

Anyway, to sum it up:

1. Need to become a lot stronger in pk (there are still situations where 'normal' methods won't work).
2. Need to develop more patience (several days instead of just 3 hours).
3. Need to develop deeper concentration.

Stressy calm

An interesting day. Felt tension in the chest throughout the day, but it didn't stain the focus. Occasionally polled the feeling and fled with the focus again .. the atmosphere was way too nervous and stressful. The intensity of stress escalated several times when a certain team member entered the room.

Saw a rather bright white orb with the corner of the left eye. It slowly floated to my left. Looked there and a second later it became visible again, performing some nice loops and curves while moving downwards. I could only see it in peripheral vision.

A strange form of geisting. Had been writing a wiki page for about 1.5 hours when the laptop suddenly logged me off from the OS. Too lazy to rewrite it all again, I went home.

Oh, almost forgot. In the morning, happily focused on the nice feeling of presence, I encountered an old man with a stick. Out of several people, he picked me (somehow I have a habit of attracting old people) and asked about the ice water pool in the channel. It had frozen over again and nobody had cut it open today. As it turned out, he often goes swimming in ice holes. A really cool dude .. looking 80 with a walking stick and swimming with ice cubes. Lotsa respect.

Tiny white orb

Saw an interesting white orb today at work. While looking at the laptop screen, I saw a white dot swim around in air from the corner of my eyes. When I looked directly at it, I couldn't see it. However, when I looked back at the screen, I could see it still flying there from the corner of my eyes.

Most likely my eyes have become desensitized from the central part of the vision. This would explain why I could only see it from the corner of my eyes, not when looking at it directly.

Psi-pog and ALittleWeird have been archived. A little sad but inevitable. It was / is a really good source for all sorts of pk tutorials.