Autumn horses

While practising pranayama, I usually count breaths on my fingers. What I found a bit strange while practising this a few days ago, though, I felt as if I actually had 6 fingers and kept missing one each time I counted on my 5 fingers.

Dream: Autumn horses

There's me, wandering around the pasture. There's not much grass, the ground is covered in yellow leaves, and under the leaves there's a thin layer of water, causing it to make a splashing sound as I waddle about. The trees have shed almost all of their leaves, making it possible to see quite far through the trees. Or, at least, it would be possible to, during the day, but it's slowly getting dark already.

I pick my phone to take a photo of the scenery. While looking for the perfect shot, I reverse a little, and then record the moment with a tap. While looking for another angle, I notice a group of horses running in my direction from the distance. As the group of dark horses kept coming closer, I became a bit concerned that I might get in their way. Though, they juts came, saw and left (my left). I felt a bit relieved, but then noticed that another pack of dark horses in similar number came running at me. They then hit their brakes as they formed like 1 / 3rd of a circle, to observe me at close range, while I was putting my phone away. In front of the pack, there was a young horse with a white patch on its forehead. The horse slowly approached me, and started to rub its head against me (hugging of sorts).

Stomach

The book "No Self, No Problem: How Neuropsychology Is Catching Up to Buddhism" by Chris Niebauer PhD reminded me to practice activating specific hemispheres of the brain again. Left the activation of the right hemisphere ticking in my second attention for a couple of days, then forgot about it.

For a few days before the birthday, I had some stomach troubles. I think it was triggered by an emotional moment.

The brain switches hemispheres every now and then, and sometimes while both hemispheres are active, I've started to feel really weird. Sometimes I've gotten a mild headache from it.

Apparently there are still a lot of blockages at places in the body.

At some point I was so tired that a nap of just a few minutes caused me to lose awareness of the body and drop into a deep sleep.

I watched "Yangguang puzhao" (2019) with some people on Discord last Saturday. There was a scene with firecrackers on the streets. I noticed that I could smell the burnt gunpowder. It has been a while.

Birthday wishes

There's a Lain-themed Discord server in which I haven't been very active, and I think I've only chatted a bit with two people there. On my birthday suddenly some people started posting wishes. At some point one of them asked if any of them knew anyone whose birthday it might be. It didn't seem like any of them knew.

Cool synchronicity. I thanked them for their wishes and then more wishes followed.

Realizations

About a week ago I realized that the world is probably much smaller than I've thought. Each thought and action probably has more immediate and direct consequences than I might've imagined.

Though, since the influence doesn't make that much sense to the rational mind, it just brushes it off or comes up with some alternative stories about it. Due to the mind, the path of feedback is cut, which in turn makes us feel more separate and alone than we actually are.

While taking a shower one evening, I suddenly started laughing about some of my worries. It seemed that I had taken "simple" things way too seriously. Should just go with the flow more.

Strange

During the Easter I suddenly took on learning Japanese via Duolingo (had been suggested to me by two Swedes). Got somewhat addicted to it. I think this dislodged my consciousness from my default safe zone again. I started seeing things differently, and at times I found my mind recalling some random sentences, words, dialogues from several years ago. Continued learning Japanese in some dreams as well.

For the past few days I've been feeling strange. Stomach issues, mild headache, minor blood circulation issues, inability to think straight, etc. Sometimes forgot basic words and sometimes the whole mind went blank. Throughout it all, felt somewhat floaty.

Performed some pranayama yesterday evening. Today I realized some of the karmic traces that might've contributed to this. Also recognized that my stomach and head had probably caught cold. Still have some stomach issues and head still hurts a bit. However, occasionally there's a breeze of something cool rising from the abdomen into the head, and sometimes there's a wave of something hot rising up to the head. Probably a blockage dissolving.

Importance of breathing

I know that my anxiety issues are caused by breathing irregularities (wasting breath). Breathing becomes too superficial and then due to running out of oxygen, the body starts hyperventilating at some point.

Yesterday evening I practised breathing in deeply but quickly, then breathing out as slowly as I can, while pushing all the air out of the lungs at the end of each breath. In addition to breathing with the lungs like that, I would also involve the stomach in the breathing process. While doing so, I tried to release as little warm air as I could, by extracting the heat before breathing out. Haven't practised that for a while. From the last serious practice, I know it takes about a week 24/7 for me to get the body to automate it.

While at it, quite a bit of nerve pain was released. Couldn't keep it up throughout the night, I fell asleep. Restarted in the morning. Couldn't keep it up throughout the day, stress. Ate a lot more than usual. Restarted the breathing practice in the evening again.

Experienced a minor euphoria while taking a shower.

Cheered for the birthday of an acquaintance. Felt mischievous and wanted to post a ridiculous image of a birthday-related pony with a rainbow. That's because he's a guy and into death metal (and unicorn ponies and rainbows obviously go well with death metal). I couldn't find the perfect pony image for him, but I found one that went into my favourites. If only I could paint that well -.-

Luna's Birthday Gift
by AnticularPony

As it turned out, his sister had given him a present in the following bag:

The perfect pony

Jus putin this here

Anyway, I found it an interesting synchronicity.

Thank you for the sauna

A few nights ago I healed some kind of a kid with the method that cats typically use. My astral body automatically heals the physical body by spreading the vibration of specific frequencies throughout the body. Hugged the kid and amplified these frequencies in his body, until they were at a similar amplitude to mine.

Encountered quite a bit of stress again yesterday, even though my connection with the environment seemed to have remained. Colleague also said she felt depressed again ... the energy wave of the shamanic journey had passed.

Kitchen lamp died yesterday evening, without a sign - suddenly just no longer lit up. The same lamp that I've already revived once with pk. When flicking the switch, the CFL sometimes flickers but then goes dark again. For most of the time, it's just dark.

Watched some Babylon 5 on the weekend, as well. It's amazing indeed, just like my uncle said it was. Fellow psions, check out season 1 episode 6. It's like a quick summary of Akira or Shinsekai Yori mixed with some spiritual progress.

Assumed the lotus pose on the bed and meditated, while breathing out into different regions of the body. Haven't been breathing right for years. Soon the cat came, looked at what I was doing, leaped on bed, curled up next to my right knee and fell asleep. I stood up and left about half an hour later, whereas cat stayed on the spot. Some similar meditation during the night, before falling asleep myself.

Familiar dreams

The first night that I had the good old dreams back again. Met dad in one of the dreams, and mentioned my plan of buying together a desktop PC for training RNN. However, he did not seem to care about that. Instead, he said: "Oh, this is how far you've evolved" (a spiritual hint).

Next dream, I'm on Saaremaa with an uncle and a couple of cousins. Throughout the night, each of us minded their own business. Cousins played computer games while I did some other kind of work. I think I was cleaning something, but there were a lot of things to finish before the morning when uncle would take us back. Eventually they prepared sauna and enjoyed it. They were all so carefree. I still had a lot of things to do, but would've wanted to go and enjoy the sauna as well. A while later, uncle casually noted that he would get going soon. With great sadness and disappointment, I thanked him for the sauna and said I would start packing right away. When I went to pack my things, there was nothing there, except for a 3 litre jar of pickled cabbage. Touched it and woke up.

Background, for the second dream

Still swamped with work, and haunted by the lack of will to go all berserk and finish the tasks one by one.

Fine, the lack of motivation for writing the conference proceeding had a rational explanation - needed to discuss the structure before proceeding with the writing.

Work for the new job? Not much point in going all out and focusing deep on these tasks before the meeting on Monday (today).

Thought I would then take my thesis and continue with that. Opened the notes from the last meeting with the supervisor .. binary blob. Bloody NTFS again. Alright, made a backup, reformatted and dropped permissions support (probably what caused the issue). Recovering from the latest PDF back to the last committed TeX is for some other day, then, I guess.

Too strict?

Today I surprised myself (and maybe others) with how strict I was, maybe even brutal. Pushed my interpretation of things on students, project managers and so on and below. Perhaps I should hold back and be more humble, instead.

Pan made crackling noises. Hadn't heard that before. What's even more strange .. the pan made the noises even when it was barely warm at all. That was a new pan. At least until it met our gas stove, I guess.

Other than that, today morning I saw the all-permeating light a little.

Edit: Oh, and today at the department store I saw someone. Looked up, looked up even more, and saw that the person was about twice my height. I used to consider myself tall (1.8 m), but now suddenly there was somebody standing next to me, almost twice my height. Puzzled, but his proportions still looked human.

Puzzle bits self-assembling

Continued reading Steve Richards' "Levitation". Reinitializing some old exercises that I used to do .. which are coincidentally also considered important for levitation practises. Some jolts of consciousness. Re-realized the simplicity of the principle behind siddhis and concentration.

Broke some equipment at work, a couple of days ago. Something that's not supposed to happen in such a way. Though, I was amazed at how much I could conclude from the observations. Noticed how there were signals that it would break but some info was missing and the whole puzzle didn't fit together until it did. Thus, it had to break.

Strange dreams. Two uncles, with whom we discussed things. One of them was an idol for me when I was little. The other uncle was little .. I was confused if it was his son or if it was him .. reincarnation? They did something with one of the tractors. Then they piled firewood on the rear end of the tractor and lit it. I was very confused about this - an unexpected extra-witchy ritual or whatnot.

One day I just popped up at the VR lab, looked around, acting all familiar and asked people what they were working on. I like to act as if everyone were an old friend of mine (as it often turns out that's the case - Estonia is small). Met the guy who was researching lucid dreaming and VR. Mentioned OBEs and VR. He showed remote interest, but much like the other people there .. seemed to be confused about why the hell I'm there at such a random time, for no apparent reason (meh just had time to spend). Well met. Met him again today at the ESA public discussion event. Nice :). Well, met a lot of other interesting people there.

Apparently I also had a fan at the event, who managed to convince me that spacetech and gamedev would start to merge sometime soon. So that eventually I wouldn't have to leave one to work on the other. This left me wondering about the third, tho - ZPE. Well, the third one I think I saw on the list of proposed answers to the ESA questions. Ambiguously stated, just like it would have to be, but it was there.:3

Moreover, the discussion event seemed to have reflected the thoughts that popped up on a plane right after returning from the Alpbach summer school. The thoughts that mankind should come up with a list of potential goals for the mankind. It was very good to see ESA working towards the same thing in roughly the same way I had also envisioned it.

Hmm .. just after the event some kind of a girl made a facebook friend request. Unrelated, it seems, as she asked whether I would like make acquaintance. Figured she's probably one of those clicking on random accounts hoping for a date. With slight disgust, I said NO, but then realized I'm clearly biased in that regard. Why not a friend? I wouldn't treat friends like that, would I? For one, the girl did not seem like a typical bot. Based on her profile pic, she looked as if from a rough family. Even worse for me to treat her like scum. Sorry and thank you for the lesson.

Ah, remembered that yesterday I tried trataka on the mirror again for a minute or less. For a second, I saw a white orb floating about 2-3 cm above the head in reflection. While seeing that, I also heard a low-frequency humming. Didn't hear that before nor after the sight.

Want to climb that bush next to the sandbox

Waking birds

Forgot to post that I also tried waking the birds at night / early in the morning.

I saw these guys doing it: www.youtube.com/watch

I knew if they could, so could I lol. It's actually pretty easy. Just focus on your third eye and expand it into the environment and birds will pick up on it very easily. I'm not sure if this is healthy for them lol :D. 

~pewep

The birds were a lot more responsive than I would have expected. Woke a few birds, then waited for them to quiet down again. Then did it again.

Realization about pranayama

While practising pranayama last night, I realized it's a lot more efficient when combined with proper visualization. Visualized the sensation of refreshing prana (internal winds) blowing around in the channels. The physical exercise was not even needed.

Subtle goings-on

Conditioning the mind with small things. Detecting unhealthy thought-patterns and correcting them. Playing communication in the mind with more evolved life-forms, to take further steps outside the sandbox.

As with any other learning processes, there must be a practical need for what is being learned. For electronics, programming, quality assurance, project management there must be a project. So must be for spiritual practice and psychokinesis. With my currently limited perspective on this universe, I've found it difficult to see any applications except for shits and giggles (which is kinda dangerous). This world doesn't need superheroes. However, logically there should be plenty of applications that would be obvious from the perspective of more evolved beings.

I know it is difficult to take an arrogant and ignorant guy seriously. Especially if he has let you down multiple times before. So, a low priority side-project would be nice for starters.

Random

A friend took me for a walk near my workplace. I go there each day but haven't even explored the nature around there. Classic.

Apparently there's a long tree alley (kilometer or two?) around the complex and places with great view over the fields and forests.

Tears?

From about a week ago I remember a random encounter at night, where the corner of the blanket flapped against my face. Shouldn't do that according to some simple physics. Though, I was somewhere between being asleep and being awake, so it might not count.

Met the precognitive colleague again yesterday and had a chat on the way home. And then another chat when we found we were walking side by side again. She said my presence often makes her tears roll for some reason. Very strange, in my opinion. Sometimes I get my own tears rolling, but I suspect that's more because of staring at the computer screen 24/7.

Recently I've taken up regular pranayama practice again. This seems to be one of the few things that actually gets my energy moving. Though, today some of it got stuck and I felt rather uncomfortable. This culminated with a colleague spilling coffee over his macbook. ::Fuck:: and spilled even more coffee on it. He also forgot the laptop chargerat work and drove back to get it. The synchronicity and contrast made me suspect it was at least partially my geisting.

Dream-practice in stick fighting

Some thoughts before falling asleep inspired me to practice stick fighting in a lucid dream. It was a bit difficult to maintain the form of the sticks and myself. The sticks became a bit too .. elastic, and I tilted off while trying to keep my back straight. This I found quite surprising. Obviously, my movements were out of balance, which caused the precession (so that I was looking more and more towards the ceiling). Still quite strange, as I've usually either floated around or walked on the floor.

On the pk forum, limpidprogress shared a documentary on Wim 'Iceman' Hof:

It's the best documentary I've seen of him so far. Started trying his pranayama exercises. I tried something similar a while ago, but for some reason, stopped.

A couple of attempts and I got my breath holding time from less than 1 min up to 2 min. Also, some additional internal heat has come up (some already did just by watching the video :).

Focus on point within light

It seems it's important to not only practice focus on a point, but it's also important to focus on it while visualizing yourself at a peaceful place with sunlight. The visualization doesn't have to be continuous, you can pulse it. Notice how with each pulsation, the peaceful place is different (either slightly different angle or a completely different place). Let it be different, what matters is that it's peaceful and that there's light.

In addition to the aforementioned practice, I've been practising pranayama as well. With my eyes closed and while counting the exercise steps, I used my fingers. Focused on each finger to the bones .. like a subset of the white skeleton meditation.

As a result, music and sound feels more and more 3D again. Something is slowly melting from the inside. A few first drops of bindu fluid have moved through the spine. Space-time warps and those strange jolts of consciousness are back, too. Also, the walls and objects in the room are making snapping sounds again.

Dusting old posts + some conspiracy

A great theory on vaccines and cancer:

Yesterday I sought for a few blog posts (blogger search still doesn't work properly) and read some of my old posts. Wow. I'm inspired by myself.

A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend posted a status update on Facebook. He described the old and familiar feelings of the fluids flowing in the central channel, the energy, lack of need for sleeping, eating, drinking and so on. I thank him for the inspiration.

Yesterday I practised the pranayama exercise again a little. Occasionally saw the room with my eyes closed, then I didn't then I did again (3rd eye yawning, yay).

One-way path

Realized the idea of the pranayama exercise that I had occasionally been practising. Purification. So, I enhanced it with visualization and breathed out some of the knots / blockages.

Started feeling & hearing the buzzing / pulsation of prana. Observed it and realized that I have a habit of casting stasis field on the heart. Undid the stasis .. ::plop::, a fluffy aura appears. Performed the same procedure in other areas where I couldn't see my aura. Previously I haven't paid much attention to it, but it's slightly lopsided (narrow around the feet and wide around the chest, head). Still focusing on my visualization of unconditional love.

Right after releasing the aura, it was quite dirty (black flames with a slight tint of various colours). Eventually it cleaned out. I boosted it for a moment, which increased awareness.

Couldn't sleep too well with all that energy buzzing through the body. Perhaps also because I had slept during the day as well.

In the first dream at about 2 or 3 AM, I was looking for an apartment somewhere not far from home (a bit awkward). I was about to walk past a rather expensive hotel that was too close to home, when I decided to still take a look at it. Instead of balconies, the building had a spiral ramp with plants and railing. Walked two storeys up (worried about trampling on the plants) but ended up at least hundreds of meters from the ground. The ramp went even higher. The view was awesome, but I wanted to take a look at other places also. The moment I turned back, the ramp had transformed into a slippery rod with parts of the railing missing. Started going down slowly, afraid of falling.

Basically this dream indicated the fear of losing what I've regained again. Fear of being unable to walk the path that I would want. Also, the dream indicates that I'm convinced that I can't afford the path. On the other hand, I'm very close to the path .. but it's a one-way path, so I either walk it or fall down again.

Black butterfly

A few days ago I remembered that before I had started focusing on the crown, I used to focus on the prana channels so that I could open and close them on will. Started with focus on the left channel. Opened the channel and chakras each night, with the help of pranayama. The first night I woke up to practise pranayama again after falling asleep .. to re-open the channel. Heart and throat chakras popped open again. Woke up after 3 hours of sleep, feeling energized.

By maintaining focus on the left channel, the left half of the 3rd eye region also feels energized.

The next night I slept 6 hours and woke up tired. I remember having experienced something important but can't remember it. Perhaps white light. I think I saw a spider also or something.

Today I encountered a jolt of consciousness.

After eating dessert at lunch, I put the bowl on the table and about a second later, a large butterfly flew into the bowl. A large black butterfly with an incredibly long tongue (almost as long as itself). It licked the dessert a little, then flew away again.

My friend Hyena is a fan of Castaneda's material on astral travels. To me, some of the material seems a bit fishy. When I've commented on a sentence or two, that to me doesn't seem right, my friend has blamed my arrogance and ego. In other words, to me it seems as if his preconceptions have prevented him from seeing the depth of what I've wanted to express.

To me it seems that Castaneda occasionally prefers to approach things with brute force and when it repels, he becomes afraid. Previously, I've gotten the same impression of Hyena. Well, sometimes I act the same myself.

Realized something the moment I opened the front door at home. Remembered the importance of paying attention to all the details while interacting with the environment. With proper attention, no room is left for arrogance or ignorance.

Remembered that while walking home, I saw dark cars in the parking lot, with tree seeds on the car hoods. Had a flashback of standing next to a building, which was to my left. To my right, there were trees shedding their autumn leaves, which slowly descended on me. I think there was also a black or dark car parking on the right.

Different

Something has changed during the last couple of days. Have seen a few bright yellow orbs fly around in the room. Started sleeping on my back again.

Chi gong, pranayama and some physical exercises have made a difference even though I haven't felt any different during the exercises. I can feel psi again, almost as I could several years ago. Memory and concentration have been enhanced as well.

Focused on myself sitting on top of my head in a full lotus meditation pose until I fell asleep last night. Before waking up, I experienced a hypnagogic image of my room door. Grabbed the image, focused on the crack between the wall and the door but couldn't maintain it for more than a few seconds.

Woke up, switched the laptop on and looked at the screen on the wall. Realized I was half-way in the wall with my field of consciousness. Looked outside of the balcony window, acquired the sensation of space around this building. Sat on the edge of my bed, looked at the bookshelf and immediately got the feeling of that.

An argument with sister. Tried to overcome my destructive thought patterns. However, I wasn't too happy about cleaning up the mess that sister had caused .. because she didn't want to clean it.

A discussion with sister. A few astral realization moments during the discussion. Realized the point of a ball of tension near the heart. Next realization was that once I let go of my strong arguments and focused on the lovely weather instead, sister's opposition to my arguments was dropped. A theory of what happened - consciousness became polarized. By focusing on a single polarity, the other polarity manifests to balance it out. Thus, a discussion leads nowhere as long as the participants assume sides.

I want OBE

Had a chat with Hyena a couple of days ago. He had some pretty cool lucid dreams and OBEs to share. Having experienced sleep paralysis, he took his sword with him to his dreams. The sword helped him regain lucidity whenever he sensed it slipping.

Envy: "That does it. I want OBE." .. and started pushing it. While at it, I found something I had been missing for a long time. Wobbling the psi field every now and then makes me feel a lot better.

Realized that one of the biggest fears I had was of geisting. Without realizing it myself, I've fled instead of facing it or even embracing it. A simple thought of "can't afford geisting" is enough to hamper progress.

Also, with the artificially increased psi density, evening pranayama felt a lot better than it did before.

Kept wobbling the psi until the body and mind fell asleep. Tripped on the edge of sleep and found the stage where I would hear hypnagogic sounds (people talking, moving around, opening, closing doors). Whut? *looks at the door*, the door looks open. Realized I was not in the body; popped back.

Had a dream, where a group of us were given the task to write essays or something. Actually, we were given just a few hours to do it (in addition to all the homework on other subjects). Found an exciting book on teacher's desk. Asked if I could borrow it for inspiration (an old plain thin paper-back on some declassified tech from the 21st century, with schematics, CAD drawings and all). She told me I had already borrowed one book and only one is allowed at a time. I could vaguely recall having borrowed some book before. She told I probably wouldn't bother myself trying too hard to remember it, since it had been a pretty long time ago. Next up was a history lesson. Had difficulties finding that classroom at first.

Inflating awareness

Opened "The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep" by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche from a random page. It was the "Sleep yoga" chapter which I had not read before but found familiar. Recognized the emptiness and calmness as well as the spontaneous moments of clarity during the sleep. An Aha moment when suddenly yoga started making a lot more sense.

Before bed, I practised focus on everything constant. There is this certain emptiness and calmness in each and every piece of furniture as well as all the wind, trees, grass blades and water outside. Focused on that, trying to grasp it.

Every now and then focus wandered and thoughts appeared. Observed what could be seen from between the thoughts. Even if there are a lot of thoughts obstructing the view directly, there are always gaps between the thoughts, during which one can see what is beyond. Thus it is still possible for the mind to put the picture together by keeping the focus on what shines through from these gaps and then just do it long enough so that all the pieces are gathered.

Approached it in two more ways. Occasionally I focused on my breathing, but in such a way that I would sense and hear it from a distance - to force myself to observe the body breathing, not me doing the breathing. For a few times I deliberately thought of or visualized a feeling or an object, after which I sharply cut the visualization to focus on the moment of emptiness that would be there shortly after the thought or visualization.

It did not take long before I could keep focus on the emptiness and all encompassing love (which shines through the emptiness on its own) for seconds. When I eventually stretched it into about 10 seconds, something cool happened.

I could hear the body breathe in the distance. Consciousness was moving farther from the body,  while at the same time, it was growing larger .. as if being inflated. After having become 2 or 3 times larger, it 'popped' into shape. A good old familiar feeling of presence, which I had forgotten. Due to some sort of insecurities, I had somehow been drawn inside and compressed into a smaller form.

After about 2 hours of this practice, I felt fully energized. Well, since it was about 1 AM, I turned around and fell asleep.

Very familiar floaty feeling since last night. Some mild geisting (lights flickering, about 20 meters from me, a plastic bottle fell on its own).

Balancing channels

Edit: Those few nights ago I used to try and force all that energy upwards from the abdomen and lower-body. Tried it with mere force, as well as by focusing on a point so intensely that it would suck all the energy there. Still, whenever my focus started to wander during the night, all the energy fell down again and I had a wet dream.

This probably wouldn't happen if the energy is stuffed into the central channel.

Pranayama to maintain balance of the channels and focus on the central channel to bring prana there.
I wonder how I've even managed to forget it. Probably did something, without feeling it through well enough. Anyway, I improve.

This is a good chapter on Tummo practice:
http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/ettt/ettt14.htm

Some more on body-focus

It's been a fun ride again, though, it seems something is slipping again. It seems as if it takes more effort again to keep the mind focused.

Would like to be able to turn the senses inward. Within the past few days, there has been one occasion, when my focus on the body was strong enough so that I lost the senses for a second. I guess one time I tried to focus on the resonant frequency of the body, then a loud buzzing of vibrations took over and I felt pulled out of body.

I've noticed that for me, this concentration on the shape of the body exercise indicates 2 levels of depth. The first is just awareness of the shape .. drifts away pretty easily. When I then "burst" the intensity, then I can detail it a little (fingers, toes, hair) and maintain more of the shape in active focus. This shape would last for some time after leaving focus.

One morning, I found that the body had most likely caught a cold during the night (sometimes goes down to 10 *C from about 25 *C during the day). Certain body parts ached. A few minutes of this body-focus exercise healed it.

Recently, dreams have been pretty vivid and detailed, but I still tend to forget them. Can't recall having anything extraordinary enough to remember.

One, which I had recently:
Aunt woke me up to have me do some work. Felt pretty tired. Didn't want to do work at first .. even sensed that I wouldn't have to. Some parents had wanted us to teach their children to swim. But I guess the weather was a bit too chilly, so they might've reconsidered. Anyway, I ended up going for a swim alone. Sure, the water was very hot anymore .. as expected, since it's end of August. While in water, I noticed that a lot of black floaters appeared from the body .. another dream of cleansing. Also noticed that the pond was not far from a couple of dry closets, in shifted space, though. A pretty weird place to go swimming anyway.

Last night I remember discussing a lot of different stuff with some people I knew, but not from this life, nor from any of the dreams I remembered having before.

Edit: Ah, another small observation. A couple of evenings ago, I tried some Pranayama again and this time sensed better what it did. Witnessed it cleanse the mind .. various clusters of desires and thought patterns left through the right nostril. Usually during pranayama practice, I would also "see" the world brighten up .. or clouds and shadows disappear from the awareness.

Drop of water

----------- Yesterday ----------- 
Yesterday's anniversary of old classmates went rather smooth and calm. Took a 1.5 hour hike there, via random routes. Arrived quite precisely in time.

Remembered that while on the way, I walked past a young limping man. He looked at my feet .. thought I heard him weep, after I had speed-walked past him. Sad.

Found the party discussions slightly boring .. who has how many kids, who studies what, works where, etc.

There was a dog there. Took me a while to figure out that it wanted to visit the other dog in the neighbourhood. Telepathically told that I'm just a guest and can't do that. The dog then crawled under the floor of its house.

----------- Today -----------
Dreams have become boring again recently..

Took a nap today. Breathed into the central channel, until it started producing heat again. Focused on it and saw light. Red at first, then orange, yellow and finally yellowish-white.

OBE's in a lush green forest, then found myself flying over a river between 2 islands (fully covered in green trees). A water droplet fell onto the right eyelid of the body, which startled me back into body and woke me up. Water from thin air..

Food fail

Feeling a bit floaty and warping again.

At some moment, I realized I hadn't eaten for a while. Body felt rather weak. Still, that chicken did not look like anything I would want. Had to eat something. Failed at extracting meat, instead, a lot of oil splashed on my pants. Stood up to wash the hand. A fork jumped out of the spoon stand. Mostly kissel + kefir with a cheese sandwich, then.

Light flickers, too.

And while feeling down recently, there has been thunder and lightning. I guess I might have succeeded in shielding the antennas (apparently, nobody went there to disconnect them). Suddenly felt a relief of tension and a calmness. Just lost an UPS.

Breathing into the central channel has become easier again. Sat on the floor, cross-legged, while watching Naruto with Dad. Sitting there felt pretty pleasurable, with the flame warming up heart, hands, throat, crown. Though, as soon as I moved or spoke, the pleasure dissolved again.

Have been seeing white orbs fly around.

Somehow, the sushumna flame seems to be perpendicular to ground, even if I lay down in bed. I don't think this has always been the case, though .. or I don't know .. for some reason, I found it strange.