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The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Argh, brainfuck

I saw a dream that I was away on Saaremaa again, enjoying a vacation with the family. We went to sleep and I suddenly woke up early in the morning, looked at my mobile phone and remembered that there's an exam tomorrow and I have to get back or I'll miss one again. Went to the car and the dream changed, but I woke up. It was almost 8.00 again (a few minutes over) and I was really tired, but couldn't get any more sleep - had to start learning again. I asked it from my subconscious over and over and it didn't make any sense - I still always received the same "Yes" (even if I said I was tired and learning while being tired usually doesn't do any good).

Studied and well, I'm having trouble with understanding this stuff - especially the Noether's theorem and its derivation.
A schoolmate said that he couldn't even find anything about the man called Nöther.
I replied: "That's probably because she was a woman (Emmy Nöther)."
Why do woman-matematicians and woman-physicists make brainfuck theorems anyway?

Studied until I found that I was a bit messed up in the head. I still hadn't understood that Noether, but at least I had rehearsed most of the others before my head gave up. I couldn't write nothing anymore, I messed up everything and probably would have even failed in spelling my own name.

Tried to meditate, but couldn't control my thoughts anymore. I was so over-exhausted that I just saw a boring swordsfight with some other guys - it was boring because I could see both myself and the attacker in 3rd person. I gathered a lot of swords and then just made them disappear.

I was really tired, but I still managed to pull off another focus exercise - I was somewhere where there were two cliffs, one on my left and one on my right. Cars coming from the left had to cross it, so I built a bridge, but at the moment when I got it ready, the right cliff started crumbling down. I had to make the bridge longer and longer, but the bridge started to collapse as well. But then I realized: "Why do I always have to make things complicated. Why would I even need a bridge?" And I made an invisible plane that was coplanar with the cliff edges. As a matter of fact, both of the cliffs were on the same height, so once I created the plane, the other side of the cliff could crumble as much as it wanted - the plane still existed and it was more-or-less infinite (or just very big).

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