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The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..


Monday, December 7, 2009

Losing control

Had a test in the morning. Went home more-or-less right after that. Had to make a lengthy practical protocol in MathCad real quick. We (chatted with a schoolmate) were surprised how fast it was (~10 pages of protocol in just 2 hours). Then I studied for the next practical - actually I couldn't concentrate on it very well anymore.

Anyway, the point is that the rest of the day went by just by learning for the ELMAG test on 09.12.09. So, I didn't have enough time to practice psionics and it had some nasty side-effects.

The first and most frequent side-effect was that I couldn't sleep very well and after 4 hours of insufficient sleep, I no longer felt tired. In this half-dreamy state I noticed that my body had been practicing the whole time - I was subconsciously messing around with psi cushions in my bed.

I then tried to light the lamp in my room. I visualized a light bulb lighting up in the lamp in my room. My focus along with some awesome psi pressure shattered the light bulb. I heard a really terrified high-pitch scream "Stop it!" I tried to pick up the shattered pieces of glass and fix the lamp again, but whenever I got it fixed, it shattered again and I felt that girl, who screamed, becoming even more terrified.

It wasn't what I had wanted at all. I tried to fix the bulb one more time and managed to stop myself from blowing it up again. I woke myself up from the half-dream state and started calming myself down. I was surprised that even though my mother and sister were awake (it was 4.30 AM already), they didn't seem to have heard anything. So, I guess that it was just a dream that gave me an Akira-like feeling that seemed real.

I really felt I couldn't control myself. Actually, now that I'm trying to remember it more, I noticed that before going to sleep I saw the laptop screen morph for a second. The same kind of morphing was happening all around me while I was in the half-dream state - just like in Akira (actually, too much like Akira).

After waking up, it occurred to me that I visualized the wrong kind of lamp - I have an economical bulb instead of the ordinary light bulb I was trying to manipulate.

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